Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Sorry to disturb you Sir

Actually an article in today’s Hindu pipped me to the post before I could make this blog. Really by a few hours as I was about to do this first thing in the morning even before the paper arrived.

One day, there was this lady who called and said ‘Sir, I am sorry to disturb you’ and I was in midst of something very important when this call came in. My immediate and natural reaction was ‘If you were really sorry why do you want me to disturb me on first place?’ and banged the phone down.

Instead of getting elated that, like never before I am offered all kind of loans, discount cards, insurance, mutual funds at my doorstep, I am plainly irritated. There was a time I was running behind banks for money and now they are running behind me to give money. This should be some poetic justice. But it bugs me.

I honestly feel sorry for these girls. Atleast one a day gets really gets a mouthful from me. It’s such a shame to shout at people who are trying to make a living out of these exercises. But how come I find the guy behind these plans? I have done my share of telemarketing too. But not in such an unabashed manner!

Firstly most of them don’t even know your name. You are called in your mobile and asked your name!! How is that for starters? Then by the tone you know it is selling money and you say you don’t want a loan. They ask a dumb question like ‘Why Sir’. I am going to say one day that I am dating a girl from the Ambani family.

Or I am going to say, ‘Yes I need some money, but it will be some 1000 crores’. Had been tempted a few times to say that, but what stopped from doing it was because I wasn’t too sure about these guys’ sense of humor. They might as well take that seriously and send someone with documents lending me 1000 crores based on a collateral of 10 bucks. Can’t say really.

Couple of times I had told them, ‘yup I will take the credit card, only if I don’t have to pay it back’. But nothing works. They sniff you and your number out like a Labrador in a bomb squad and chase you endlessly. I think if one guy gets a new mobile number, he first sends it to the entire pack of hunters and celebrate it in the evening on a beer.

This species is now also evolving with a little bit of intelligence. Earlier they recruited amoeba, but now they have graduated to higher form of living things, which tries different openings like a chess game. ‘Sir, based on your spending pattern on your HDFC card, we have decided to offer you a home loan’. I am going to say, ‘Oh yeah, how sweet of you, a second home for me, how about coming and living with me there?’ Again what stops me is that I don’t know much about amoeba and its lifestyle that I don’t risk such a proposition.

You are supposed to register yourself in the ‘Do not call’ list of each of these hounds, I am told. You will be doing it all your life. I really don’t know whether they make a sale out of these exercises. There is more animosity with the person called. I think it is more a ploy of the Telco’s because they get talk time. The day a Telco announces that we wont get Spam calls he will become the No 1 Company in the country.

I am going to make a list of nasty words and indecent proposals that they will crouch in shame when they go back home or they will kill their bosses. Or just employ them to call my dealers.

No comments: