I am unable to overcome my agony about air travel that I have to keep writing about it time and again. Or maybe because I had been doing too much of flying. This whole business of queuing up in the lavatory gets into my nerves.
Firstly I don’t know why so many people hold up for the flight to land. A plausible explanation is that the toilet in the aircraft is too small. You feel claustrophobic and can’t turn this side or that side. And maybe the vacuuming makes one feel that they can be sucked in. Or maybe walking the flight while it is at 30000 ft is scary. But somehow, they all wait. I can understand the pain.
So, the moment they land, they all rush to the loo. And the worse starts there. In all these standup urinals, you need to pick your spot and stand behind him to finish. Wish there was a common queue and whoever stands first, gets the first free slot. But it is not to be. You just identify a guy, as if you are finding a match for your life and stay behind him. And I will bet all my estate on this postulate. He will invariably be a guy who hasn’t pissed for about 2 or 3 years and almost leases the urinal for another couple of years. It happens to a couple of other guys also. And to watch their effort to jump into the other free spot that has already been eyed by someone else, or to watch their squirming like Peter Sellers in ‘The Party’ is great fun. That makes you forget your agony.
And when this 2-year pisser, ultimately finishes he also happens to be a guy who will do an elaborate ritual of re-dressing himself and vacates the spot. And you get your chance and then realize that this entire wait is what makes someone occupy the slot for such a long time. Maybe your predecessor was one who had a 3-year pisser in front of him.
Firstly I don’t know why so many people hold up for the flight to land. A plausible explanation is that the toilet in the aircraft is too small. You feel claustrophobic and can’t turn this side or that side. And maybe the vacuuming makes one feel that they can be sucked in. Or maybe walking the flight while it is at 30000 ft is scary. But somehow, they all wait. I can understand the pain.
So, the moment they land, they all rush to the loo. And the worse starts there. In all these standup urinals, you need to pick your spot and stand behind him to finish. Wish there was a common queue and whoever stands first, gets the first free slot. But it is not to be. You just identify a guy, as if you are finding a match for your life and stay behind him. And I will bet all my estate on this postulate. He will invariably be a guy who hasn’t pissed for about 2 or 3 years and almost leases the urinal for another couple of years. It happens to a couple of other guys also. And to watch their effort to jump into the other free spot that has already been eyed by someone else, or to watch their squirming like Peter Sellers in ‘The Party’ is great fun. That makes you forget your agony.
And when this 2-year pisser, ultimately finishes he also happens to be a guy who will do an elaborate ritual of re-dressing himself and vacates the spot. And you get your chance and then realize that this entire wait is what makes someone occupy the slot for such a long time. Maybe your predecessor was one who had a 3-year pisser in front of him.
1 comment:
and these pissers-at-length will not just take hours straigthening their trouser front , they will take a few more hours to shake ... as if they have a tryst with James Bond who wants it " Shaken , not stirred"
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