Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Watch your Crotch

Can you believe this? A guy stole 101 vials of sperms from a lab and tried to sell it to a doctor for 25000 bucks! Don’t know where we are heading to? No, I am not bothered about loss of values, ‘look what people steal’ blah blah. The degeneration in terms of brain is what bothers me. You need money, you can’t make it yourself, you want to steal, and it is your problem. But why sell it for such a low sum? And the worse is that, the doctor tipped off the police because he felt he was being overcharged!!!

From human trafficking to baby thefts we have come a long way. Now steal them young!!! Maybe in future, we will have different rates for different sperms. I suppose atleast mine sells at a good rate. Will they then start kidnapping males, because it is easy to steal the source itself? Imagine what will happen if someone abducts you and in a gun point demand that you deliver sperm! My guess is that you won’t be able to. Unless Sushmita Sen or Aishwarya Rai happens to be the abductor. If that’s the case, you won’t think twice isn’t it? I will actually look forward for the kidnapping and get mighty upset if I am not kidnapped. Will probably haggle that you are the best in the business and why you need to be chosen over the other prospective kidnapee! Maybe then cite your track record on why you are the best choice and how many times you were kidnapped before and you have performed up to expectations. And even quote some significant achievements.

Anyway, these bums do not seem to appear so intelligent. They will always break banks, sperm banks I meant. Should appreciate their honesty in a way! They have not caused anyone any harm. Worked hard to earn their money by stealing sperm and may well have created a new industry, ‘Sperm for Sale’! Then like blood banks being frequented by the donors, we may even see people hanging out in front of fertility clinics selling their wares. But there are many dangers associated with this sperm stealing profession. Assuming this guy has sold successfully, being at Aurangabad he would have attracted the ire of Maharashtra Navnirman Sena chief Raj Thackeray. Because no one can confirm that they are Maratha sperms. Imagine the dilution of Great Maratha identity and the calamity that ensues for this country. Maybe they should start labeling the vials, classified as per religion, caste, region etc. Only 20% of the sperms stolen should be non-Maratha ones etc could come later.

I am dreading to imagine what all can happen because of this silly theft. Like the police asking you to keep your sperms safe, or boards in suburban trains saying ‘Watch your crotch’, it can go on and on.

As of now let me anyway be safe!!!