Thursday, April 05, 2007

Big Boys play at Night

This used to be the caption that Kerry Packer first promoted what was called as Pajama cricket. Lights, Colored Clothing and aggressive cricketers who had an eyeball-to-eyeball confrontation! It also captured the imagination of the lewd part of the cricket watching public, because of the sexual connotations it had.

Well, it always remains a connotation. I am a fairly big boy now and I hardly sleep. 5 Hours a day seems to be a luxury and some days I become a compulsive insomniac. No, no, please I am not moaning about lack of games or play. Just that I am using a nice title to talk about the lack of sleep. Like what they use in discount sale. Upto 70% discount they will scream, but upto will be in the finest print.

There was a time in life when I could sleep for hours and hours together. But during then, I screwed it up by keeping myself awake by reading, watching movies and what not. Now I almost sleep but not quite. I get into the bed and make a laborious attempt to catch sleep and sometimes get successful. But the luck doesn’t last long. I wake up invariably somewhere in the wee hours and start strolling. I try to avoid picking a book or iPod lest I keep myself awake for more time. After a stroll, and a couple of swigs of water I make another attempt. If my stars were favoring me that day, I sleep again. Otherwise the torture begins.

I walk up to the living room and switch on the TV. Skip channels indiscriminately and land up in some program that can hold me for a while. Problem is that, early in the morning, all TV channels pay homage to God, as if it to make amends for the previous day’s crimes of stupid programs. Guys in all shapes and looks, hog the screen with invigorating prayers and telling you why you need to choose the righteous path in life. I almost feel like strangling them and tell them ‘Look, my righteous path in life right now is to find the way to sleep, can God be of help?’

By that time, I am fully awake and the brain starts gnawing me for a coffee, but making my own coffee and drinking would be adding insult to injury, so I wait for the cook to wake up. I make plenty of noises to make that happen. And atlast it happens. These days, this blogging bug is also pretty active. So, I start writing some stuff or the other. And when it is really sunlight, I feel like sleeping.

There are people who has suggested me all kind of remedies from switching off the fan to meditation. But I think I am going to spray some chloroform in my pillow and crash everyday. Nothing else would work. If that also fails, I have a few ideas to keep my nights interesting

  • Rob a bank.
  • Work as a call center guy as a second job.
  • Pick my binoculars and start peeping into windows of other flats.
  • Become a fisherman and go for a catch by 2 am.
  • Start calling all my friends whenever I wake to get myself some company.



Now, it’s somebody else’s issue. The guys who need to worry or the Banks, Call Centers, Fishermen, Friends and ‘The still active neighbors’! Who said insomnia is a problem. Looks like it can throw some pretty interesting options in life!!!

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