Friday, January 03, 2014

Anger again

I don’t think I have met an angrier person than me. It appears to me that I am irreversibly addicted to indignation. Small things anger me, big things anger me and my anger itself angers me. I have many well-wishers who have time & again advised many remedies to it. Do meditation, start praying and a few cinematic ones like count from 1 to 10 (I need to then go on till 134367 or such number)

I am not suggesting that they are being flippant in advising me so. But one should understand anger as an emotion and the cause of such an emotion. There are no paintbrush solutions to anger management.

I get angry on two things

  1. When people clearly know what is my reasonable expectation and ignore that
  2. When people continue to rant on their point without importing the rationale I try to pass on

The other generic anger generation tools like Cab drivers calling 15 times before finding your house at 3.45 am, vendors not willing to find solutions for an impasse, service centers throwing a rule book at you without understanding only aggrieved customers call a service center, are completely out of one’s control.

Anger emanating from our perception of unfairness dealt out to us has a bias to it and hence disqualifies itself as a righteous source. Anger that has its genesis in social injustices and our impotence to deal with it, well the adjective says it all. We can’t rage about something if we don’t want to attempt changing it. People do that and sometimes it becomes a movement. The recent Delhi elections are an example of that. Stress, lifestyle, life experience and our own outlook of life are all possible sources of anger, but it is squarely on us.

So going back to the 2 points I outlined has its origins in this statement “The relationship we have with someone who makes us angry and our interpretation of their intent”. Typically then it boils down to just this. Relationships!! We became extremely angry only in such situations that involves a person with whom we are in a relationship and our disappointment about such a person doesn't understand either you or do not make their intent clear, by doing the two things I have mentioned above.

Here I am doing a very tough job and all I get is advice… J

OK, now I can be advised….