I just imagined myself being interviewed in a show for couples, and asked what is the worst thing about marriage. My answer was waiting in my lips as if the question was leaked earlier.
It has got to be sharing a blanket. That is the worst. Nothing compares to it. Any other discomfort in a marriage can be put up with. Can be compromised. But not the blanket for sure!!
Think about this, you are a person who is a born insomniac. I know you can be. Because one of my friends during a surgery, after being administered the anesthetist’s concoction was asked to count 1,2,3, which is the normal practice to put them to sleep. When the doc came back, he was counting some 1000 or so. Certain people just can’t go to sleep. I am one like that, with the only exception being flights.
Now you understand the difficulty I undergo to sleep. On a typical day, when at last after a battle of about 2 Hrs I doze off, I wake up with my toes getting chilled. An extremely feline & gracious movement of my wife in the bed would have just rearranged the blanket. And there it goes. Another 2 Hrs of battle again!!
And the next time around, the movement will not be that feline. A sudden tug at your side of the blanket, you start all over again.
When you get lucky again and sleep, there will be a violent action that will completely take your blanket off. And to add to the misery, it will be firmly tucked underneath her and you may have to enlist the help of Arnold Schwarzenegger to really get your rightful share of the blanket.
After such battles with your wife, around the wee hours of the morning when you manage to doze, you will have one of your grievous sins creeping into the bed. I mean the kids here. I don’t know who on earth teaches the kids to sleep horizontally in a bed.
Even in the extreme good fortune conditions of having vertically sleeping kids, the size of them is too small that they are sunk inside the huge blanket and basic survival instinct for such a small creature would make the blanket being pushed down to suit their body.
Now the toes will be laughing at the torso like a villain with room temperature IQ, as if meaning to say ‘I know you will get your turn before the night ends’
Those days, when the huge battle ends and I start sleeping, I will have my dog licking me in the face warmly & sounding like a pregnant cat as it is her time to get out.
I will tell you what; this time around I figured a solution. I am going to buy a blanket, take it to the best tailor in town and ask him to stitch it around me, head to toes. And sleep under the bed…
It has got to be sharing a blanket. That is the worst. Nothing compares to it. Any other discomfort in a marriage can be put up with. Can be compromised. But not the blanket for sure!!
Think about this, you are a person who is a born insomniac. I know you can be. Because one of my friends during a surgery, after being administered the anesthetist’s concoction was asked to count 1,2,3, which is the normal practice to put them to sleep. When the doc came back, he was counting some 1000 or so. Certain people just can’t go to sleep. I am one like that, with the only exception being flights.
Now you understand the difficulty I undergo to sleep. On a typical day, when at last after a battle of about 2 Hrs I doze off, I wake up with my toes getting chilled. An extremely feline & gracious movement of my wife in the bed would have just rearranged the blanket. And there it goes. Another 2 Hrs of battle again!!
And the next time around, the movement will not be that feline. A sudden tug at your side of the blanket, you start all over again.
When you get lucky again and sleep, there will be a violent action that will completely take your blanket off. And to add to the misery, it will be firmly tucked underneath her and you may have to enlist the help of Arnold Schwarzenegger to really get your rightful share of the blanket.
After such battles with your wife, around the wee hours of the morning when you manage to doze, you will have one of your grievous sins creeping into the bed. I mean the kids here. I don’t know who on earth teaches the kids to sleep horizontally in a bed.
Even in the extreme good fortune conditions of having vertically sleeping kids, the size of them is too small that they are sunk inside the huge blanket and basic survival instinct for such a small creature would make the blanket being pushed down to suit their body.
Now the toes will be laughing at the torso like a villain with room temperature IQ, as if meaning to say ‘I know you will get your turn before the night ends’
Those days, when the huge battle ends and I start sleeping, I will have my dog licking me in the face warmly & sounding like a pregnant cat as it is her time to get out.
I will tell you what; this time around I figured a solution. I am going to buy a blanket, take it to the best tailor in town and ask him to stitch it around me, head to toes. And sleep under the bed…
1 comment:
Good One!! and a great solution too!! Necessity indeed is the mother of all inventions!
This is also the eternal problem of Calvin , as the felinity and grace of the movement that enables blanket-hogging comes natural to Hobbes..
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