I have been immensely lucky when it comes to friends. I have had the best in that. In my life, if I don’t have to complain about one thing, it is about not having great friends. And I am so blessed to live with one in my life.
My friends at any time are more important to me, than my own kins. And they always knew me better than anyone around me. They hit me like a storm and stay as a peaceful & serene lake all around me always. They had been a source of strength to me, at all times and just a thought of them makes me smile and sometimes cry.
I used to wonder what makes me a good friend to them. I am not great in socializing. I can be utmost be called as user-unfriendly. I have my idiosyncrasies and have only extremes as emotions. Whatever it could be, love, hate, helpfulness, resourcefulness, I always am at one end of the spectrum. Never in the middle! I fall in friendship late and when I do, in just a matter of few days they almost become everything, sharing from a stupid event at road to what happens at office. My wife and daughter know the whole day as if they had watched ‘Big Brother’
But, I don’t know why, whether it is them, or me, many of them drift apart. With no rancor, no obvious reason, no pressure, no fights, they just move apart. Those times I want to scream my head off at them, asking all uncomfortable questions on why they behave the way they do. But I don’t. I laugh and talk as if nothing has happened at all. But I have anger simmering inside. Sometimes I use an impersonal medium to tell what I feel. But, I am just simply incompetent to carry on that resentment. Maybe that’s what real friendship is.
Still don’t know whether it is right. Your friend should know that you are unhappy about what they did and they should make amends. Otherwise what are friends for??!!! If they don’t it is even more painful, you feel wretched and depressed and you feel that you had been taken for granted. It is as if telling to you, ‘hey this is how I am, so you better adjust’.
But God that way stays kind to me. For every one I lose, he gets a better and superlative new friend.
Here is one of favorite poetries on Lost Friends and this is a toast to all the friends that I had, have and will have.
My friends at any time are more important to me, than my own kins. And they always knew me better than anyone around me. They hit me like a storm and stay as a peaceful & serene lake all around me always. They had been a source of strength to me, at all times and just a thought of them makes me smile and sometimes cry.
I used to wonder what makes me a good friend to them. I am not great in socializing. I can be utmost be called as user-unfriendly. I have my idiosyncrasies and have only extremes as emotions. Whatever it could be, love, hate, helpfulness, resourcefulness, I always am at one end of the spectrum. Never in the middle! I fall in friendship late and when I do, in just a matter of few days they almost become everything, sharing from a stupid event at road to what happens at office. My wife and daughter know the whole day as if they had watched ‘Big Brother’
But, I don’t know why, whether it is them, or me, many of them drift apart. With no rancor, no obvious reason, no pressure, no fights, they just move apart. Those times I want to scream my head off at them, asking all uncomfortable questions on why they behave the way they do. But I don’t. I laugh and talk as if nothing has happened at all. But I have anger simmering inside. Sometimes I use an impersonal medium to tell what I feel. But, I am just simply incompetent to carry on that resentment. Maybe that’s what real friendship is.
Still don’t know whether it is right. Your friend should know that you are unhappy about what they did and they should make amends. Otherwise what are friends for??!!! If they don’t it is even more painful, you feel wretched and depressed and you feel that you had been taken for granted. It is as if telling to you, ‘hey this is how I am, so you better adjust’.
But God that way stays kind to me. For every one I lose, he gets a better and superlative new friend.
Here is one of favorite poetries on Lost Friends and this is a toast to all the friends that I had, have and will have.
Friendships Lost
(Scars that never heal)
I see your smile
I know your mind
No words need be said
I understand.
Focused on each other
We listen and we care
Laughter ripples like water
Together, we are.
Others are here, yes,
And we value them, yes,
But a special bond remains,
A line between us two.
Each friendship is special
Each is unique
And so is ours
We know.
And then time begins to roll
and rear it’s ugly head
Change begins
Now a little less than before.
Slowly, surely,
Not knowing why
Faster, stronger, without care
Our world shifts and shimmers and splits.
Shattered shards cascade down
Spurred by angry, lashing words
Contorted faces, stone deaf ears
Outside the whirlwind,
We die inside.
The scars run deep
Jagged clefts in our souls
We have suceeded in hurting
And hurt ourselves.
So you move on
And I remain
We keep on living
Turn our faces apart.
Now I glance across
At you from outside
Shaded eyes dry with tears
New friends, new life.
Laughter, smiling (clenched teeth)
The flippant toss of the head
The enclosure surrounds you
I cannot come near.
From behind my glass window
I know more than those within
I see the hurt in your eyes
I know the pain in your smile
I have been there before - I love you
Why do you pretend?
I hate to see your pain
And I cry inside
Tears deep within my soul
I cannot help you anymore.
What we had once
We can never have again.
The scars run deep,
But I still care.
You ARE my friend
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