This whole drinking business is funny. There is an elaborate process about convincing the wife that you need to have a drink. Which she never understands! She keeps asking why are you so hung up on beer. They don’t even stop to think that we men don’t ask such questions about chocolates.
It invariably goes with the sweetener like’ Hey, lets all go out for dinner’. I can see pupils dilating and I have a one-person fanatic support group in my eldest daughter. Then the decision about which hotel to go! All hotels at Chennai are run by females is what my guess is. They conspire together not to serve beer. Or maybe they cut a separate bill to the wives to say so.
At last you figure out a place that does and you land up there. The first drink is accepted without any rancor. The second one comes to you without the wife realizing and then the issue starts. Rather the count starts.
Women fail to understand that the whole drinking business is about drinking silly and making a fool of yourself and talk, which does not happen if you are going to be prudent about the count. A huge canvass of expression then starts in their faces. Starting from pleading to telling to screaming to angry face to an untold expression of ‘come home let us see’. By that time anyway you are drunk enough to ignore potential dangers that lurks you in an hour. Looks like all men are Scooby Doo’s. Great Danes but cowardly ones!!
But what pisses me is the question ‘ How many has gone in?’ And the superlative memory of when did you drink last and how much you drank then. And they suffer from selective amnesia on daytime events. And their amazing ability to figure out what mannerism means how many has gone in. You scratch your elbow; you are in your second bottle. A silly face, unseen exuberance and meaningless smile mean that you are on the way to glory. Fiddle and remove your rings, then you are beyond redemption.
With so many telltale signs why bother to even ask the question? You anyway know. What are you expecting? A confession from us! Have I been read my Miranda rights? What it is the guarantee that it will be not used against me tomorrow morning or even tonight at home? Can I call my lawyer? Do I get a plea bargain deal? How long is my probation then? I have so many questions running in my mind as reply.
But I just reply saying, I am in 3.1 round. Because after 3 rounds, it only progresses in decimals for me!
It invariably goes with the sweetener like’ Hey, lets all go out for dinner’. I can see pupils dilating and I have a one-person fanatic support group in my eldest daughter. Then the decision about which hotel to go! All hotels at Chennai are run by females is what my guess is. They conspire together not to serve beer. Or maybe they cut a separate bill to the wives to say so.
At last you figure out a place that does and you land up there. The first drink is accepted without any rancor. The second one comes to you without the wife realizing and then the issue starts. Rather the count starts.
Women fail to understand that the whole drinking business is about drinking silly and making a fool of yourself and talk, which does not happen if you are going to be prudent about the count. A huge canvass of expression then starts in their faces. Starting from pleading to telling to screaming to angry face to an untold expression of ‘come home let us see’. By that time anyway you are drunk enough to ignore potential dangers that lurks you in an hour. Looks like all men are Scooby Doo’s. Great Danes but cowardly ones!!
But what pisses me is the question ‘ How many has gone in?’ And the superlative memory of when did you drink last and how much you drank then. And they suffer from selective amnesia on daytime events. And their amazing ability to figure out what mannerism means how many has gone in. You scratch your elbow; you are in your second bottle. A silly face, unseen exuberance and meaningless smile mean that you are on the way to glory. Fiddle and remove your rings, then you are beyond redemption.
With so many telltale signs why bother to even ask the question? You anyway know. What are you expecting? A confession from us! Have I been read my Miranda rights? What it is the guarantee that it will be not used against me tomorrow morning or even tonight at home? Can I call my lawyer? Do I get a plea bargain deal? How long is my probation then? I have so many questions running in my mind as reply.
But I just reply saying, I am in 3.1 round. Because after 3 rounds, it only progresses in decimals for me!
2 comments:
I have not seen the movie Resident Evil and don't know what the title represents in the movie. But to enjoy the drink and exhibit your inner talent a Resident Evil (wife) is a must. Try drinking alone on a Sunday
with nobody to listen - you will feel the need for RE.
Personally, i dind the idea of the peg thrown back in defiance to the "Resident Evil" quite stimulating. Some people climb the everest, some go deep sea diving , some go big game hunting. To drink against the prevalent law is my everest!!
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