Thursday, February 01, 2007

Did I leave India ???

Did I leave India?? Apt would be, did India leave me..

This is inspired by Mukund Padmanaban’s article about Pattaya in last Sunday’s Hindu. He was lamenting about the fact that his Pattaya trip, particularly the one to Coral island was a disaster.

While at Pattaya, I remembered one of the very funny statements I have ever heard. This statement was made by a girl whom we know. She is from Madurai. Mind you, that’s a place which is about a few thousand years backward (charms of Madurai in the next piece when I write, so let me not have my brothers up in arms). She got married to an IIM and promptly moved over to US. When she was back, she had this statement to make about Jersey City. ‘Too many Indians’ ... Hahaha… :))

Well, that’s precisely I also felt while I was in this trip to Coral Island. When you are some 4000 miles away from home, you draw comfort from the distance and try to be what you want rather than what you are forced to while in India. Maybe, that was the best chance for my wife to dress unconservatively, not worry about who is looking at you and visit places that you won’t dare to at home.

If you have that in mind, please for God sake don’t go to Thailand, more importantly to Coral Island. This trip to the island is like a reunion of Indians. You may belong to any package tour, but all these agents come together for this alone and ensure that you are made uncomfortable.

First you go and wait in the beach front at the appointed time. Mind you, the time is appointed for you, the other Indians as is their wont can reach anytime. So you hang around. Then a speedboat comes to pick you up. And there you see Indian-ness in all its glory. Everyone rushes to get a seat there, as if, if you don’t they will leave you behind. Murphy’s Law comes to play and your speedboat is the last to arrive anyway.

And then the boat starts. 10 minutes into the ride it stops for Parasailing. And there you see all the guys who rushed to catch a seat in the first boat. Thoong Thing (our guide whose name means Subhiksha) is very enterprising. She will make you feel that you will hang upside down in hell if you don’t parasail. That’s 400 Bahts gone for you.

We met this group of three Bangalore guys who were having a whale of a time laughing. I was scared to parasail and one guy was extolling the virtues of it while warning me that he has seen a guy falling down in the sea. Well he made his point; I wasn’t really keen to meet a watery grave so soon. Not at least when a package costing a Lac was in its first day. And bingo, out of the 25 people who parasailed he was the one who never took off and got dragged all the way in the sea. :))

Then the next stop for deep sea walking. No one dared. But not before jumping into speedboats getting a window seat for another 10 min ride. Then we all reached the island.

I had been asking my wife to get herself a good swimsuit before we packed. We live by the sea; can drive to zillions of beach resorts, opposite to our club that has a pool & all, but in India, even in swimming pools you can only dive with complete churidhar kurta and just don’t dare to even get into a single piece. So I suggested to her, that this maybe the best chance to enjoy the sea, spending so much money. But, we are closeted with 25 Indians. We had our sun beds & stuff, but who do you think will dare to change to swimming costume when all the people around are still jumping in with their churidhars.

And these 3 guys were still fun. We got to talking and told them what I do for a living. We traded some common names that we know. And when I asked him his name, he said now that I know you, I would rather not tell it. I am here without people knowing about it. Am sure, he can cursingly write a blog about me being there as a part of ‘too many Indians’.

Back to the mainland, we were herded to an Indian Buffet with people jostling for plates jumping the queue.

There are too many of them really. The place is teeming with half of India. Whether it is a Go-Go Bar, Walking Street, the numerous shopping malls, the massage parlors, they are there everywhere. I once heard a Sardar, telling his masseuse how he boom-boomed 4 Thai girls that day, while I was in the next partition.

Honestly, I felt I never left India, but for the fact that we don’t have Go-Go bars here and at Chennai , not even a Bar, leave the Go-Go…..