Reviews, Reviews...

How would you feel if, all you do in life is being in reviews? Sickening! And that’s what my life has become. Reviews, Reviews and more reviews.

The ones I am supposed to do. One on regular business, 3 on special initiatives and then the same thing repeated to me as a review. And after you had been a million reviews, you kind of predict what will be the course of it.

Never once I have seen, heard someone following what was planned in the previous review. But the creative juices are at its best when questions are asked. Starting from a dumb answer like, ‘Boss, its there’!! What’s there really? Appears to me that nothing is there, that’s what the issue is about. Otherwise it will be ‘I asked them Boss’. Ask what and whom? Your job is to do and not ask. I scream my butt off for these answers. As much as I have become a decent prophet about what’s next, they also are pretty good in terms of digression. They know the issues for which there are no immediate solutions and the discussion will be veered there. Else, it will be one elaborate discussion on something that is not worth even a penny. The cost of that discussion will be higher than the potential outcome.

Some guys are smarter. Like what we used to say in earlier days that one should hold the graph sheet up and from your side it will be degrowth and in the opposite side it will be read as growth. They will choose one obscure datapoint and compare and establish that there is a .00001 % growth. That datapoint would be when Genghis Khan invaded us and we were all busy saving our lives. The reality would be different. Something will be on fire. Or the outstation guys will lose signals. Whatever you ask, they will repeat ‘ Boss, Boss’ and for added measure, they will say ‘ Boss, your voice is cracking’. Then what it else it will do? Seeing the revenue figures, voice can only crack !!!

And when it is my turn to get reviewed obviously all my experience would come into play along with the recent learning’s from the subordinates. But Bosses being bosses are always smarter. They know what you will not have an answer for and stick on to that question. Immaterial whether it has any relevance to the business. And it will be accompanied with some solid gyan on why we should not ignore hygiene factors, which you would hear only for the millionth time in life.

The poor souls will always be the one who gets chosen first in a group. The energy level of the questioners will be high and the rest will get an opportunity to cover up their stupidity that comes up in their reports. So, when they are badgered and released finally, there will neither be energy left nor desire to rape will be left. In my days, I have seen some really thick-skinned characters who will be completely unperturbed about the environment and go on and on with their harangue. Few bosses have the intention to take them seriously and rape them. Otherwise it will be one banal report which none will care for.

And worst about the reviews is there will be a plan made again as corrective action and it will be trashed as soon as you get out of the room and everything will start all over again in the next week. If only, all the creativity that is used in answering questions on reviews is left to be used in business, it will grow for sure.

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