If you want to roll on the floor and laugh, you can try searching logic in Tamil movies. Some of the clichéd but unwritten rules of the movies has me in splits. I always wanted to list them all.
- On the penultimate scene of the movie, when the tempo builds up, cut and squeeze a song, preferably in a funny costume at foreign locales.
- Come what may, ultimately ‘Thaali’ triumphs. However bad the guys who tie that could be.
- Hero’s always have one MCP dialogue atleast. About how a woman should behave!
- Police always appear in the last scene and shoot in the air after the hero has smashed up everyone.
- If the Police have to appear earlier, they will be bad police who will rape anything that moves in a female form.
- As magical as the creation of universe, all characters always land up in the same place when needed. There will be only one mall, one temple, one restaurant, one hospital, one bank and one graveyard in a city as big as Chennai.
- Heroines fall in love with dumbo’s and school dropouts only.
- Hero’s love their mom more than their lovers, when the duets are over.
- Dreams are god given gift to the directors. Anything can be rationalized if the character wakes up at the end of the scene.
- In old movies, the hero’s demand and get more lipstick than the heroines.
- If the pant is red in color, shirt has got to be green.
- If the heroine is angry, she will speak in English.
- The hero will speak English in the climax scene, immediately translating that into Tamizh.
- If you are a super hero, your legs are shown first when the movie start.
- There is always an elaborate dance sequence before the ‘supposed to be’ sexy courtship scene. Not a single villain does it while he is sober and he runs behind the vamp like a monkey.
There are many such rules and I often wonder whether directors see their own movies. Guess they never do it. Like my friend who owns a hotel once told me while I was dining there. I called him to join us and he said, ‘No da, we will go to some other hotel’.
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