Hair & the idea of you!

I used to have 3 different hairstyles when I was young, between one visit to the saloon and the other.

First is when, the folks drag you to the barber and ensure that justice is done to the money paid. You come out almost like a criminal whose head is shaved completely. Second could be the normal hairstyle, where hair grows to the right extent and the third depends on your luck. About how much you can dodge the people and postpone the visit for a hair-cut.

The first decision I ever took when I started earning was that, I will cut my hair right in frequent intervals and keep having the same style. Alas, the job ensured that. A stint in a carbon-infested rubber factory meant that I quit the job with very little hair in head. So, no big hassles about three different styles. It was one all the way. Bald!!

To think of it, somehow hairstyles have been a symbol of rebelliousness always. Anyone who is non-conforming will grow hair. The Hippies & Beats! Long Hair symbolized a rejection of ‘straight’ culture and the wearer in a very easy way demonstrated the allegiance of alternative culture.

I wonder why in India also it is seen the same way. There are a few cultures which have not scoffed down upon long hairs. The Rastafarians and I would add Indian also to that list. All your sages & gurus were long haired. The doctrines of Christianity in Western Cultures give us a partial explanation. St. Paul wasn’t approving at all!!!

Now also, in a relatively open generation, whenever we see a male wearing long hair, we tend to think he is a non-conformist. Mostly an ad agency guy!! All creative guys assume this posture.

Come to think of it, this is a painless way of showing some rebelliousness. Wish I could do it. With me, the mind wills the hair rebels. It would not grow!!!!

Power Puff Girls

All along my life I had lived surrounded by women.Now, don’t let your imagination run riot. I was mentioning about family.

Early days, it was 5 sisters, mother and aunt and sisters-in-law for good measure. All of them elder to me, hence I was under constant doting. But, the flip side of it was, all of them nice & dainty, and me this spoilt brat. I never had an iota of an inclination to study, and all of them are post graduates. And an overdose of gyan sometimes!!

And now, it is wife & 2 daughters. There was a time when there were 2 dogs that were females (never had the heart to call them bitches). And a cook cum babysitter Mami!! Once again, house full of females. These guys are too much. If someone tells me that the world has only women, I would accept without any question.

And added to this are my friends! My wife can never fathom why I keep getting gifts for my B Day only from girls and no males (Guys, please please get me gifts next time).

I am a strong supporter of the theory that male & female brains work differently and only a guy can understand another guy better. But, somehow in my life surrounded by women, have received more empathy from them than guys. Kinda contradictory to my belief!!

If someone gives me a choice to select another life, I will never change this one bit. Would ask for the same set of people; These are the ones who make my life very very special.

Aloo, Rice & Beer

These dietician’s nightmare items are my most favorite. I eat rice thrice a day, eat Aloo every second day and beer, well, this is not a confession OK? My wife gets a heart attack every time I jump at these things unabashedly. In a constant worry about how much of carbohydrate I add into my system.

These good treadmills are a disaster really, you run for 30 min at a decent speed and end up burning 100 calories max and these machines mercilessly tells so too. No respect, loyalty to the guy who paid so much to buy them. No attempt to please even one day by saying we burnt 1000 calories.

Coming back to my wife’s discomfiture on this, I am afraid that I would keep doing this and make her too worried and thus her health. But my logic is that, there will be a call one day to quit all of these items, what with generations of diabetes history.Someday I would have no choice but to stop. So, why worry from now itself?

Let the oats and wheat wait till then.

Do you wanna fight???

Do you really want to marry the one whom you love?? Then listen to me. I had been putting all my thoughts and experience into this, so bloody well listen to me.

The people I hated the most are the ones who came and advised me to take it easy when I wanted to marry my wife. And these were guys who in their time fought a pitched battle to marry the one whom they wanted. My anger was all about that, they either don’t approve of me or her, and not the marriage per se. And in my eyes, they all had successful marriages and was flustered no end about their double standards.

And I later played the same role to 2 of my nephews, despite the same pitched battle and successful marriage with my wife. Now, let me clarify. I am not against love; I think that’s the best that can happen to human beings. And marriage also is something that can happen to human beings, albeit to the bit less fortunate.

My contention is that, is it worth a fight?? Are you going to proud about that fight the rest of your life?? Is it worth 4 years of hibernation from your parents? I had always fancied that marriage is a gamble and love marriage is something you gamble seeing the opponent’s cards to an extent and hence the gamble that less risky.

For the ones who still don’t follow me, here is a checklist. Get a scorecard on this list and then bingo; you are ready to take a call

* Have you ever imagined how the other one will look & breathe after waking up?
* Do you want your bathroom floor dry?
* Do you want your newspaper to be folded properly?
* Are you the one who expects things when taken should be replaced?
* Do you think you own the blanket and your space in the bed?
* Do you think that either an ‘One dayer’ or a B Day is important to sacrifice for each other?
* Are you aware that the animal kingdom is not monogamous?
* After a few years, it will still be you cooking and not him?
* It is always your career to sacrifice and not his?
* Your mother in law will own your house telephone time?
* Do you think Jeans will be washed?
* Are you aware the Sunday’s are ‘no bathing’ days?
* Your children can possibly be like your spouse?

Well, these are just a few. The list can go on and on. If you have some clear answers for these questions, let me anticipate the decision. ‘Welcome to bachelorhood/spinsterhood’

If all these don’t discourage you, one parting shot. Just look at your in-laws. Your wife or husband is most likely to become one of them in the next 10 years.

You still want to fight?????

Relationships

Lately I had been pondering about Relationships and the futility of maintaining them or trying to. To just step back and think how many relationships I would have nurtured and where they stand now makes me think it is all futile.

Let me think …. As I had been growing there had been different people who had held sway at me at different times. First it was my sister and I maybe thought my life starts and ends with her. It was a time before friendships were formed with anyone. That died when she got married. She has been around still, living a couple of km away from me, but it has never been the same.

Then it was those guys at the colony we lived. Spent hours and hours together with them, prompting my father to ask what we were talking all the time (can’t really tell him, can I ??) For many of them, I have done the unthinkable. Surrogated as a brother in colleges, as lover in phones, as guides to someone, as villains to many, but there was a relationship going on and at that point of time, it was the most important thing in life. To an extent that I could lend a best shirt of me to a friend and after he tore it, I still didn’t kill him. I don’t know where these guys are now.

Then came the girls. One at an age, when I wasn’t even very sure about what I wanted with them!! To cultivate such relationships, have done the silliest of stuff like buying a second-hand book from one. To think of it now, it’s downright humorous. And to ask that book, how many days of preparation and standing in street corners to gather the courage. Wish there was something called SMS then, to just say what you want. At some point of time, one became a wife of my friend and another’s brother became a close friend of mine. I can bet my estate that I haven’t known for 20 years where all these guys are. The friends, sisters and wives!!!

Then was this other girl who told me that she was in love with someone else, the day I proposed to her. And I spent 2 full years of college at the cost of my grades trying a relationship. It happens, sometimes even faster than what you think. But, that brings another variable into play. In your mind, you predetermine what kind of relationship you want. So, while you prima facie accept the first one, constantly work on improving it. From friend to lover, lover to wife, and then wife to friend again!!!! And after 20 full years, I found her and I am lazy to even to reply to her mails now.

I almost grew up together with my cousin and I had huge pride in being a big brother for him( I am just 6 months older to him) We have been together as partners in all small crimes, from chasing a duck to killing butterflies. He went to BITS and that was it. I still call him on new years’ eve to catch up on the next day, but then after that it is one whole year till the eve again.

I always believed that relationships with men last longer and later realized that it dies when they get married. I don’t know how many I killed that way myself. Guys who stood steadfast at times of troubles, fed you when you were without a job, left their room at 7 in the morning to allow you to meet your girlfriend, all these guys are somewhere there now. I atleast hold their numbers now. Maybe a really drunken moment would still rekindle it and I will call.

There are many such acquaintances that matter too much to you at some point of time and later vanishes. There are however a few exceptions to it though. Depending on how it metamorphises during the course of the relationship. As you grow and the need changes, how the other one matches it, is what the success all about.

With some, you are stuck in a time warp, with some you are angry that they are stuck in a time warp. With some, you want to be talking always, with some you want them to stop calling (you suddenly get too tied up in work :)). With some, you start in a way and later realize that you after all wanted a different relationship and try too hard to mend it. With some, you want to be the only relationship; with some you wish they had someone else too. With some you want to be sharing every single second of what you do, with some you try in vain to hide those very seconds.

I guess there is absolutely no permanency in any relationship. Even in the ones in those you think you did well. Because their interests change!! My daughter is now keener in chatting with friends (mind you they are boys who will blog 20 years later), my wife’s best companion is Solitaire (this is the most ironical sentence I have ever written, worth a blog unto itself. Solitaire companion is a good oxymoron). My second daughter who is all of 4 yrs, with her TV! And I for them, with my blog, music, book, movies and TV…

Prompts me to think, which of those relationships I have kept for majority of the times. The names that come out are like Beatles, Sujatha, Ilayaraaja and a writing board. Sad that none of them ever speaks or can speak with me.

Resignation

Madurai

Madurai is a funny place. I was born & brought up there. No one from Madurai ever misses a chance to talk about the great civilization we once had in that place. Mind you, they never tell you after that civilization never flourished there.

Have you ever seen a city with huge population having the cover of a plastic bucket serving as a traffic signal? Well that’s Madurai for you. A traffic constable stands in a dais turning this huge mechanical device to instruct people whether they can drive ahead or not. Not that they will ever listen to him. He has a job to do and he will do. People have a job to do and they will drive on.

Awesome people the city has. In fact I call it as an over-grown village and never a city. That brings up the point. People in their hearts are villagers, and that includes me. For all minus points you can give for villagers, there is this earthly charm about being one. In Madurai it’s ‘Everybody Counts & Nobody Counts’.

You will have the whole population of the city knowing what you are up to. Everyone is known in that place or even away from it. One sentence in Tamil, you spot them wherever you see them. So, there is virtually no privacy there. Kind of primitive. What you do is known for the world and mind you, even a kid would profess an opinion about that. And that’s Everybody Counts.

And for ‘Nobody Counts’, the city goes around killing their own relatives. In the name of honour! Sounds like an Arab Village, huh??? Well that’s what you got there.I had a couple of friends of which one guy’s brother-in-law killed another’s uncle.

People are so tightly knit that there is camaraderie all over. They never change their habits. Eat at the same place.(will flock to a Madurai restaurant in a new city). Never give up their town and passion about that town.

The idiosyncrasies of the place are enormous, ones you will never get to see elsewhere in the world. The huge pride is refusing to grow up, the pride in getting a broad gauge train after so many years, the nonchalance of being 20 years backward, their great quality of food, the temple, the fact that your neighbour is someone big, the pride in being a Maduraite and so on ….

Used to wonder what drives them on. Have always wanted to go back and settle down, but even a week’s holiday is too much for me.

But I should admit that I have smiles all over my face when I am there, all through the week.

Did I leave India ???

Did I leave India?? Apt would be, did India leave me..

This is inspired by Mukund Padmanaban’s article about Pattaya in last Sunday’s Hindu. He was lamenting about the fact that his Pattaya trip, particularly the one to Coral island was a disaster.

While at Pattaya, I remembered one of the very funny statements I have ever heard. This statement was made by a girl whom we know. She is from Madurai. Mind you, that’s a place which is about a few thousand years backward (charms of Madurai in the next piece when I write, so let me not have my brothers up in arms). She got married to an IIM and promptly moved over to US. When she was back, she had this statement to make about Jersey City. ‘Too many Indians’ ... Hahaha… :))

Well, that’s precisely I also felt while I was in this trip to Coral Island. When you are some 4000 miles away from home, you draw comfort from the distance and try to be what you want rather than what you are forced to while in India. Maybe, that was the best chance for my wife to dress unconservatively, not worry about who is looking at you and visit places that you won’t dare to at home.

If you have that in mind, please for God sake don’t go to Thailand, more importantly to Coral Island. This trip to the island is like a reunion of Indians. You may belong to any package tour, but all these agents come together for this alone and ensure that you are made uncomfortable.

First you go and wait in the beach front at the appointed time. Mind you, the time is appointed for you, the other Indians as is their wont can reach anytime. So you hang around. Then a speedboat comes to pick you up. And there you see Indian-ness in all its glory. Everyone rushes to get a seat there, as if, if you don’t they will leave you behind. Murphy’s Law comes to play and your speedboat is the last to arrive anyway.

And then the boat starts. 10 minutes into the ride it stops for Parasailing. And there you see all the guys who rushed to catch a seat in the first boat. Thoong Thing (our guide whose name means Subhiksha) is very enterprising. She will make you feel that you will hang upside down in hell if you don’t parasail. That’s 400 Bahts gone for you.

We met this group of three Bangalore guys who were having a whale of a time laughing. I was scared to parasail and one guy was extolling the virtues of it while warning me that he has seen a guy falling down in the sea. Well he made his point; I wasn’t really keen to meet a watery grave so soon. Not at least when a package costing a Lac was in its first day. And bingo, out of the 25 people who parasailed he was the one who never took off and got dragged all the way in the sea. :))

Then the next stop for deep sea walking. No one dared. But not before jumping into speedboats getting a window seat for another 10 min ride. Then we all reached the island.

I had been asking my wife to get herself a good swimsuit before we packed. We live by the sea; can drive to zillions of beach resorts, opposite to our club that has a pool & all, but in India, even in swimming pools you can only dive with complete churidhar kurta and just don’t dare to even get into a single piece. So I suggested to her, that this maybe the best chance to enjoy the sea, spending so much money. But, we are closeted with 25 Indians. We had our sun beds & stuff, but who do you think will dare to change to swimming costume when all the people around are still jumping in with their churidhars.

And these 3 guys were still fun. We got to talking and told them what I do for a living. We traded some common names that we know. And when I asked him his name, he said now that I know you, I would rather not tell it. I am here without people knowing about it. Am sure, he can cursingly write a blog about me being there as a part of ‘too many Indians’.

Back to the mainland, we were herded to an Indian Buffet with people jostling for plates jumping the queue.

There are too many of them really. The place is teeming with half of India. Whether it is a Go-Go Bar, Walking Street, the numerous shopping malls, the massage parlors, they are there everywhere. I once heard a Sardar, telling his masseuse how he boom-boomed 4 Thai girls that day, while I was in the next partition.

Honestly, I felt I never left India, but for the fact that we don’t have Go-Go bars here and at Chennai , not even a Bar, leave the Go-Go…..

Time for a change

My blogs are getting increasingly morose these days. Even I don’t like that fact. If a rank outsider reads the last few, he might be tempted to think that there is a sociopath in the lurking and quite possibly I can start getting calls from soliciting shrinks.

Well, it’s not that bad as I make it out to be. Sometimes in life you go through a phase and start telling stuff that sounds alien to your own self later on. But then, blogging is all about that.

You just rattle things out in the pretext of anonymity, hoping that there is a million plus readers waiting to know what you have in mind. Actually it’s pretty funny. I don’t think apart from the writers themselves, not many read others’ blogs. I read somewhere that blogging is nothing but voyeuristic publishing. You write, you publish and bingo you read all what you have written.

If what I said is true, then there is a lot of merit in putting down the darker thoughts of your mind into a blog. After all you need a vent for them. And no one anyway reads :)

But, guess I am going to sneak in a few humorous pieces before getting into dark stuff again.

Chase

Been wondering lately about what I chase in life!!! Am not sure whether I chase anything at all. But am pretty busy thinking that I am up to something. Unbiasedly audited, I should confess that I have enough interests and work to keep me occupied for a lifetime.

My library should have at least 300 plus books as of now, ranging from Robert Prisig to Michael Connelly, of course not to miss out the Penthouse Letters. Some of them as fresh as they are bought. Good number of Tamil books too if not equal. But there are times that I keep staring at them and not pick anything. On the contrary, finished 12 novels of Michael Connelly in the last 2 months.

Then the collection of music, enough and more songs, once again ranging from Tamil Folk songs to the Ballads. I get mad listening to them for a period and enjoy silence equally when I am alone.

Have around 400 movies, to the extent of not remembering when I saw what. And keep trying to improve the viewing pleasure with plasma’s and home theatres. Once again, give them a big miss sometimes even risking Clint Eastwood calling me about why I haven’t been seen for so long.

Travel whimsically most of the times. Decided on a Bangkok trip 2 days in advance and confirmed 6 hours before departure. Keep thinking constantly now about this summer’s holiday trip. But am talking about doing a trail of Vanthiya Thevan in Ponniyin Selvan.

Have more work in hand now than the past 20 years, but am sitting at home without any inclination to think in that direction.

Have countless number of friends, but I don’t call one of them, even in the loneliest of times. And when they call speak as if there was a gun on my head. I don’t remember the last time I spoke with my folks, but am excited when they come down and we laugh at trivial things.

Lived as an atheist for a major part of my life, turned theist and I remember God and visit Him once in 2 years.

Lately its cooking and the poor kids suffer in silence. Don’t know when I will get bored of that.

Started writing about the houses I lived so far. Stuck in the 3rd one, with 10 more to go. And seriously telling everyone that I want to make a movie, without even calling the friends in the industry.

Honestly, don’t think I have great plans of what to do in future. Life is fairly full, but somewhere there is a very small piece missing to complete the puzzle.

And the chase I guess is about finding that piece.

Cake Shops

I always have this feeling when I walk into a cake shop. Guess it’s the happiest place on earth. There could be a lot of places where people go. Restaurants, Movies, Office, Functions and so on. But no one can guarantee that everyone who is around in those places at that time is there for a happy cause. There will be someone definitely who would be smarting under sadness in those places too. But in a cake shop, whoever is there is there only for a happy cause. Could be a birthday, anniversary, wedding or stuff like that. But the common denominator is the happiness. The only exception to it is the cake that they order for farewells. How come farewells can be a cake-cutting occasion? Left to me I won’t eat any farewell cakes. If you really want them there, you don’t cut cakes and deliver eulogies. Bloody hell, tell them how much it means to you to have them around and make them be around.

My Mother

My mother left for hometown after a 3-month trip to Chennai, albeit in the most bearable of the times in the hot city. Not that she goes to cooler climes. This piece is not about that. It’s about the time she was here.

I keep asking myself this question every time, whether I do justice whenever she is here. There are obvious discomforts while she is around. She is very orthodox and that means what you think is normal behaviour is absolutely a crime. Starting from wiping the floor you sat and ate; well that’s not wrong, till the point cow-dung is insisted to be used. The only cows I know of this metro is of a different kind. Well that’s for starters, there are many such violations of her rules and I feel I am atleast a few hundred generations away. The rituals that I used to perform every month to remember my father’s death, does not hold any particular reverence to me now and I can see her disappointment at the seemingly flagrant affront to her husband, not withstanding the fact that I am just like her husband in every bit of me, starting from dead finger nails. The fact that I swear by him to run my life after his and there is not a day I have ate a morsel alone, just like him does not matter as much as the wonderful Sanskrit words I need to utter every month.

Ok that explains the difficulty I have while she is around. But these are minor ones because I don’t give up on what I believe as much as her and despite disappointing her I never give into what she wants. I can tell one thing for sure though. She is extremely proud of me and what I am and what I stand for. That she is of course about all the 8 of us. But, me, a special guy, after all I am the last and was made when she was forty. And like her husband, a totally unflustered character who never worried about the future. An innocuous explanation of my dad for having so many kids was a Tamil adage. ‘Maram Vachavan Thanni Oothayama Povan?’. It means that ‘Would a guy who planted a tree, wont water them?’ He was referring to God though and to his credit he himself watered enough and more.

Whenever she is there with me, I keep thinking about why this lady can’t enjoy all the great stuff in life rather than worrying about the silly stuff that does not happen. For example, an adhoc purchase of 2 sari’s costing 4K is not an everyday thing for her, but she was more worried about not getting the matching blouse. She has gone through pain, had 10 children in all, from a rich family, became middle class and now she is come a full circle with all her kids freaking out. But there is something she misses, and I don’t know what it is. If I did, I would get her that.

I never know whether I have told her that I love her, shown in actions many times, never told her once though. We all make the mistake, don’t we??

I was never the one who made the love so very obvious. In fact I used to ask her, how come you could love me the same when I am the 10th, would you not get tired? And for a major part of my life I believed that it was my eldest sister who was my mother and that suited me too. It was only when she got married and left home when I was 5, I started looking at my mother and am sure I was a pain all through. It was my sister who was a pet, the one who would look at mom’s face all through when we sit in a movie. But no one knows that all of us do that. We all always watch our parents. There is more in their face than any movie or life story can ever say. I don’t know whether my kids do that now.

I grew up with the belief that she won’t live long; they didn’t those days. So, in the middle of the night sometimes I used to wake up and see whether she is still breathing and if she did, slept peacefully then onwards.

And now, when every time she leaves, I keep thinking, is this is the last I see of her alive. But these days, its just not about her, I get an odd feeling that it could be either her or me.

Kapunka Thailand

It was a wonderful four-day trip to Thailand. Sometimes, I feel like it was not just 4 days but more. Primarily because each day was a 20 Hour day and so that much longer than normal one’s.

I should say I enjoyed Pattaya more than Bangkok itself. Quite possibly the right thought also, as Pattaya happens to have all the strapping of a tourist & holiday destination than Bangkok, which is nothing but a Metropolis waiting to burst in its seams, with all the traffic jams and mechanized people.

People had been going gaga over Thailand, mainly as a destination for sex. I was thoroughly disappointed in that front. Thai girls suck (no pun intended). They look awful and flat and do not for once make you turn around and look again. And if at all, someone does, you can be sure that it is a eunuch. They look much better, prompting a rethink about sexual preferences. When they talk about the great progress that has been made in Silicon Technology, I never knew that it meant this. I even told one that she looks beautiful.

But what was gratifying is that these eunuches are treated with a lot of respect and not like what happens to them in India. My guide was explaining that, how difficult it has become to have a sex change operation these days unlike the past. She apparently has a friend of that kind. The fact that someone can acknowledge the fact that her friend is a lady-boy (they are called so) is heart warming. The openness of the society to accept someone’s individual preferences and treat them with respect is commendable. Anyway, I was excited more about the rare animals that I saw than anything else there. I got a feeling though, that the country was not too excited about having tourists. One of the worst places I had been to, when it comes to reception. People just don’t answer you properly and they are very curt, including police officials. Maybe because they are uncomfortable with English as a language and cannot communicate properly (they are vely vely solly most of the times about that). But more than that, I thought that they think the tourists are primarily there for sex and not to appreciate the beauty, tradition and culture of the land.

Beer and other drinks are sold in carts by the roadside, along with the entire insect kingdom being fried and sold. Walking Street in Pattaya, giving another dimension to its name just doesn’t sleep. We were up till 5 am one morning and the place was still rocking. I don’t know what does the collapse of Soviet Union means to them, but the greatest benefit out of that are the Russian girls who have migrated for the cabaret joints here. They are simply awesome. Tall & strapping, but with an innocent face, pandering to the age old dreams of men: body of a woman with a face of a child.

Going from a city of beaches and a house that practically sits on the beach, I am not supposed to be excited about the beaches. But Coral Island was different. The sand is so pure, white & soft. It’s so nice to feel them on your foot. I missed the ‘molaga bajji’ though.

Thai music was another revelation. Almost all songs have a melancholic strain in them, but every now and then moves into an area that denotes a big expanse and hope. Maybe that’s what is the story of Thailand. Not very happy inside but hopeful of something better to come.

But for me, I would say ‘Kapunka Thailand’ meaning Thank You in Thai.

Five Point Someone

Stage adaptation of books is a tricky business. That too, when it happens to be a popular book. Mainly because, when you read a book and like it, you create your own images for the characters and that can differ from person to person. So, when a Play comes across as good as the book, one should doff his hat.

Five Point Someone belongs to this genre. The book was immensely popular and well liked. And because of the story line, it was more a book about your own college days and not just the story of three IIT’ians. I am certain that everyone could empathize with those boys in the book and so would have had huge expectations from the Play.

Boy, was it Good!!! It was fantastic. The director should have had some solid faith in her script, that there was just narration and dialogues. No sweat about the props, nothing. And it was extremely novel to see an author narrating the story; while as a character someone else plays him.

No point in dwelling about the superlative performances of the actors, veterans and the youngsters alike. The adaptation was so very good. In a way I felt like I was reading the book again.

Surprising was the liberal use of the ‘F’ word in the dialogues. Theatre has come a long way in Chennai. To think of it, 50 years back , it was males who donned the ‘Sthree Part’. Many famous actors of the tinsel town graduated that way. Later, though it improved a bit, still there were no amateur female artists. Even in today’s Tamil plays, you have all the males as amateur artist, while the females are professionals. So, to see physical closeness and hugging in the stage was strange. Maybe, the doyens like Pammal Sambantham Mudaliar , TK Shanmugam & the likes would be turning up in their graves.

But, all in all the Play was good that you even didn’t feel that there was no break in between. Touched a chord with the audience. One scene stands out in my mind. With absolutely no dialogues, and only a spotlight on, the author’s post-coital expression was awesome.

I missed out Magic Lantern’s ‘Ponniyin Selvan’, which happens to be my all time favorite novel turned play. Glad that I did not miss this one though.

Who is 'They?

I am mighty pissed about this whole ‘they’ business. I really have never comprehended who is this ‘they’. It seems everyone everywhere seemed to be worried about ‘they’. What will ‘they’ think? What will ‘they’ say?

Appears to me that no one in this earth lives for himself or herself. It is for ‘they’. I am not using ‘them’, if you see. Them could be a bit specific. This ‘they’ is not. It is like God. Omnipresent but can’t be seen for hell. No one knows who ‘they’ are, but always seem to know what ‘they’ will say or think. Funny, absolutely funny.

If this ‘they’ are your neighbors, why the hell we need to be worried about what ‘they’ think, I could never understand. How do ‘they’ matter to us? If it is friends or folks, how come ‘they’ cant understand why do we what? Or atleast why not come up and tell what ‘they’ think? And if 'they' are in general, the society, how the f*** I care?

Many of us don’t realize that we form a part of someone else’s ‘they’ too. And just by being a different ‘they’ , the whole crazy stuff can be changed. I think to do that , you cant have the clichéd ‘they’ thoughts. You need to have something on your own. Then you are not amongst the group.

And for all you know, you might even have a name then. Your own… Shrikanth said this, Shrikanth will think so. But then atleast you are not in that ‘they’ group.

The year that went by

It’s too early for this piece. Atleast 2 weeks earlier! But I presume, nothing much or bigger can happen in the next 15 days, that will overshadow the 350 days that went by. And I hope not too. Looking forward for a sedate time.

How exactly this year had been? Well its mixed I should think. One way to look, life has never been so good. Things that I had only dreamt earlier happened. Things I had been wishing for ages happened. If I make a balance sheet of good and bad things that occurred, then good column should be bigger. So no complaints!

Let me list out all the good ones first

• Found a best friend.
• Got some real good money.
• Bought a new car.
• Shopped till I was bored.
• Collected footwear and shirts like women.
• Got promoted to a meaty role.
• Daughters as usual loved me more than the previous year.
• Had a big holiday.
• Did a few good things for the needy.
• Good stuff happened to friends.
• Wifey landed up doing what she always wanted to do.
• Partied as if it is end of the world.
• Started writing (apart from blogging, which also started this year)
• Collected more number of books than what I already had.
• Read more books than the previous year.
• Lagey Raho Munna Bhai happened.
• Chatted, sms’ed, mailed, spoke more than ever.
• Made useful expenses as much as frivolous ones.
  

Now the bad ones

• A visit to the ICU and popping up more tablets than ever.
• More people quit at office.
• Bitten by a loneliness & wanderlust bug.
• Friend’s dad passed away.
• Everyone got busier.
• Saw lesser number of movies.

I am now prompted to think, that at any given point of time a balance sheet of this kind, will only have more good things. There is good all around and if we trained ourselves to see those, life appears to be good. But, it is also true that bad things when they do happen are big in magnitude. Or maybe, we don’t even remember small bad things, which is good in a way. Our mind wants to keep more good stuff than bad stuff and that’s good news.

Pain & misery seem to be there, but then how else we can recognize the good things?! In this book ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff….and its all small stuff’ by Richard Carlson, there was this wonderful lesson. If something bugs you so much, just stop and think whether it is going to matter so much the next year and then you know you don’t have to sweat.

But , ‘Easier Said than done’ Richard ……..

Technology

Brain

Would not be surprised if this happens soon !!!!

Gizmo

I recently read that toys always fascinate men. For older men, it is the gizmos. As much as a girl would fall for a teddy bear, boys will fall for anything that works in some mysterious way. Be it a simple stapler, a transparent one with dials & stuff will excite a boy.

Mine was the iPod Nano. Should have bought this long time back, but somehow good sense dawned upon me a year back to postpone all gadget buying (though a worldspace or two just slipped in). It was primarily because I was buying all new introductions in the market at a vulgar price which later sells at half the cost and my service expense are always higher the new piece in the market. So I decided not to jump and buy an iPod.

My daughter has been bitten by this bug of surprising my wife and me on our B Day’s. Invariably she needs the support of either one of us to execute that. And we both can’t keep things from each other. And we make a mess of this surprise thing and disappoint my daughter no end.

Few days before my B’ Day, my daughter wanted to go out and I screamed at the poor thing for always wasting time when the exams are happening. She was mighty disappointed and was crying. And she happens to be my life. This prompted my wife to once again break the surprise. Apparently, she wanted to go check out on the gifts. So, I suggested we go and not tell her that I know the purpose.

And I landed up first in this gizmo shop. And itched to buy this Nano. But could not, as I was told by my wife that it is supposed to a surprise to me. We walked out without buying. Not before getting the number of the shop-wala. And for a week, it was my turn to be waiting and practice surprise. It is a pain waiting for something you want and that too when you know you can get. Well I had no choice and I was gathering all the songs that I want.

At last it was given. And from then onwards, even while brushing I am wearing that and some songs have gone into the bloodstream by now.I suddenly realized that there were new sounds in the old songs that I have heard a zillion times. And I am hooked. I would say it is an amazing find, this iPod. Just to carry around so many songs on you is simply awesome.

Maybe one day the interest will wane. But by that time, I should have become deaf.

The Following Sea

There is this concept called ‘Following Sea’. A huge wave that chases a boat in the sea is called as the Following Sea. It is such a sight to behold while one is in the sea. I had this experience when I ventured inside on a Red Flag day. The flag itself means ‘Don’t Go inside’, but anything forbidden is always tastier as it tastes of sin, like they say.

Of-course we were all dressed up in Life Jackets and there were 3 locals who accompanied us. I didn’t have hell of a hope to swim out if something happened, life jacket or no. And added to it, I really didn’t know how to swim also. But sometimes, there is such a lure, and adrenalin flows in full and you catch the bait.

Going into the sea is always more challenging as you hit incoming waves. There is so much skill with these fishermen, who sidetrack the waves most of the times and you zip through a wall of water on both sides. But there were a few moments of scare, when we rode a crest and came down with a thud. Its one thing with men, in a group, everyone is foolishly brave and whatever fear one has, it is all kept inside. You aren’t a man, if you show fear. Back to the primitive days of a hunting group with the terrain as your enemy.

After a couple of km’s, fear got the better of us and many of us nonchalantly suggested that maybe its time to go. After all we were there in Temple Bay for a training meet, the trainer would be waiting for us. Then started the saga of the ‘Following Sea’.

All these waves that we were braving to go against, were now behind us, or should I say ‘after us’. Easily 6 foot in height, they chased and chased. It was a question of who is faster, the boat or the waves!!! Felt such a rush inside, but with no resistance forward it was also an extremely pleasant ride being pushed by the force of the tides. The chase lasted all of 7 to 8 minutes and we were back to some still waters.

Then you know what would have happened, we were men really and promptly some of us jumped into the sea, floated for a while. And started the trek back home.

I could see a great relief in many of the faces. Me ?! There is a term in Tamil called as ‘Prasava Vairakiyam’ ( it means that , when in labour all kind of resolutions like ‘never again’ even for pleasure will be taken and of course promptly broken later ). It was the same. I was scared to death and vowed not to be so foolish ever again while we were going in. But when I reached the shores, I was thinking maybe next time I should kill fear and enjoy the sea more. :)