I think it is this book named ‘Eppodhum Penn’ by Sujatha. It is about this woman who is extremely smart and occupying a prestigious post as a lecturer in a college being married to a cheat and even after realization continue to stay with him, but of course maiming him at the end.
I have always wondered about the male-female relationship in a marriage context. But before that, there is a disclaimer. I don’t claim myself to be a woman’s lib guy or a perfect husband material. Maybe the other end of the spectrum would be a correct definition of me ( ok, that was modesty, in reality I am neither there nor here ).
I come from a family that is infested with women. 5 sisters, mother, aunt & an old grandma living with us while I was young! So I have seen extremes from female subservience to daring acts by my sisters. Atleast no typecast was seen. My father whom I hero worship, on hindsight seems to be a very poor husband. My mom was always worried about his anger. And worse is that we never knew what will cause that anger. My mom on the other side was not someone who will lie down and take whatever is dished out. She had her way when she wanted to. And my aunt & that old grandma were widows whose life was practically over in a very tender age and that fact was easily accepted by them without a single murmur. My sisters are a mixed lot. While they stoutly defend their husbands, I am certain that they pretty much have a say in stuff that happens around in the household. Sometimes more say. Each of them believe in themselves and do not hesitate to put their foot down on causes they believe strongly about.
But, the curse lies in the societal outlook about man-woman relationship. Sujatha acknowledged that his reference book for the story was ‘The Second Sex’ by Simone de Beauvoir. She calls the females as the prey of the species. There is whole lot of stuff she has written about master-slave relationship. Pretty intriguing!
I have always believed that a master is a master only till the slave accepts to be a slave and not otherwise. So it is strange for me in a modern society we still have relationship types where one is subjugated and it is accepted willingly just claiming that to be a norm.I guess it is more a lack of will to fight, that all elements that makes a norm is brought in.There is some comfort level somewhere in whatever stage it is, and while there overt cribs about the state, there is no attempt to get out of the state. And abuse ( I am talking verbal & mental here ) being accepted is one of the most shameful things in a marriage. Acceptance because of love is even more shameful.
If one goes by Hegel’s definition of the master-slave relationship, the modern women are very much masters & men in their own right because they open the future when they seek out and not wait for the male to do so. And divergence is becoming lesser & lesser.
But despite changed times and beliefs, somehow men get their way even in an educated world like today’s. Maybe because women want to belief whatever they wanted to believe than what is real. But honestly I feel all of us do that. I am unable to put a finger. Just looks very strange to me. I tend to believe that in certain areas women just don’t want to confront. And again I am not sure whether, this generalization is right. But this is more prevalent in women than men. And that is not very right.
Men refuse to be educated and even worse is women refusing to educate them. There lies the irony.
I have always wondered about the male-female relationship in a marriage context. But before that, there is a disclaimer. I don’t claim myself to be a woman’s lib guy or a perfect husband material. Maybe the other end of the spectrum would be a correct definition of me ( ok, that was modesty, in reality I am neither there nor here ).
I come from a family that is infested with women. 5 sisters, mother, aunt & an old grandma living with us while I was young! So I have seen extremes from female subservience to daring acts by my sisters. Atleast no typecast was seen. My father whom I hero worship, on hindsight seems to be a very poor husband. My mom was always worried about his anger. And worse is that we never knew what will cause that anger. My mom on the other side was not someone who will lie down and take whatever is dished out. She had her way when she wanted to. And my aunt & that old grandma were widows whose life was practically over in a very tender age and that fact was easily accepted by them without a single murmur. My sisters are a mixed lot. While they stoutly defend their husbands, I am certain that they pretty much have a say in stuff that happens around in the household. Sometimes more say. Each of them believe in themselves and do not hesitate to put their foot down on causes they believe strongly about.
But, the curse lies in the societal outlook about man-woman relationship. Sujatha acknowledged that his reference book for the story was ‘The Second Sex’ by Simone de Beauvoir. She calls the females as the prey of the species. There is whole lot of stuff she has written about master-slave relationship. Pretty intriguing!
I have always believed that a master is a master only till the slave accepts to be a slave and not otherwise. So it is strange for me in a modern society we still have relationship types where one is subjugated and it is accepted willingly just claiming that to be a norm.I guess it is more a lack of will to fight, that all elements that makes a norm is brought in.There is some comfort level somewhere in whatever stage it is, and while there overt cribs about the state, there is no attempt to get out of the state. And abuse ( I am talking verbal & mental here ) being accepted is one of the most shameful things in a marriage. Acceptance because of love is even more shameful.
If one goes by Hegel’s definition of the master-slave relationship, the modern women are very much masters & men in their own right because they open the future when they seek out and not wait for the male to do so. And divergence is becoming lesser & lesser.
But despite changed times and beliefs, somehow men get their way even in an educated world like today’s. Maybe because women want to belief whatever they wanted to believe than what is real. But honestly I feel all of us do that. I am unable to put a finger. Just looks very strange to me. I tend to believe that in certain areas women just don’t want to confront. And again I am not sure whether, this generalization is right. But this is more prevalent in women than men. And that is not very right.
Men refuse to be educated and even worse is women refusing to educate them. There lies the irony.
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