Why do People fall in Love???

There are many theories that float around about why people fall in love. Someone once wrote that it is because of excess secretion of phenylethylamine in the system. Sigmund Freud said that ‘Love and work are the cornerstones of humaneness’, but at the same breath said that ‘One is very crazy when in love’.

Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of three elements: attachment, caring, and intimacy. Attachment is the need to receive care, approval, and physical contact with the other person. Caring involves valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as your own. Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other person.

John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel. Just as there are three primary colors, Lee suggested that there are three primary styles of love. These three styles of love are: (1) Eros, (2) Ludos, and (3) Storge.

Continuing the color wheel analogy, Lee proposed that just as the primary colors can be combined to create complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be combined to create nine different secondary love styles. For example, a combination of Eros and Ludos results in Mania, or obsessive love.

Lee theorized more styles out of the three primary styles namely 1. Eros – Loving an ideal person, 2. Ludos – Love as a game.3. Storge – Love as friendship & Three secondary styles: 1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love, 2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love, 3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

There is also a triangular theory of love by another psychologist, once again a combination of 3 factors of intimacy, passion and commitment.

Enough of the theoretical aspects and definitions of love! It is just beyond my head. I don’t think that love is something that can be defined so precisely and it is just one crazy stuff like Freud said. It just appears from nowhere and occupies a major part of your thinking, giving sanity a long holiday. But at the end of it you feel so great being insane. That seems to be the beauty of love. As John Dryden said, there is a pleasure in madness which no one but madmen know. And, love looks like a perfect fit to endorse his quote.

But, what bothers me is a small thing. Maybe something to do with the English language! And that is ‘Why do people fall in love’ and not ‘rise in love’???

Fishy Stuff

I have been always a character who came across as someone who held some intrigue. That’s for people who don’t know me really. The closer folks know that there is no secret in my life and am as open as they come across. So there is actually nothing fishy that I am going to write about. This one is different.

I had always been fascinated by pets. And when I say pets, I don’t have any bias. Anything that knows it should not bite the master will qualify as a pet for me. Though not to the extent of Steve Irwin, I have always fancied myself to be closer to animals than the Homo Sapiens! I have never feared them. On the contrary my dream job as I claim is to be a zoo-keeper. Live with the animals day in and day out! Maybe because they don’t talk back! They give one look at you, sometimes if they are feeling friendly, may offer a gesture that you can presume as a smile, or most times they ignore you and mind their business. And I see it pretty close to my character. And amongst accepted peer groups, friends and families, they are as friendly as anyone can be.

I am mad about dogs. I think I can understand what they express without fail always. A dog Dr Dolittle!! And more often than not, I had been right in my guessing and with Gabriela I lived a charmed life. She is a very funny character. I sometimes called her as MRP, standing for Mentally Retarded Pet. But, a fiercely determined one! No one can express as much as her and here I include the human beings too. Maybe we had a common language, which mostly could have been love and hence there was never a need for words. When she died, it was a very bad loss. But I thought that it could be repaired. Had another couple of dogs, Anbu & Maggie, but both of them never turned out to be Gaby. And there were more difference of opinions than agreements and I felt very tired having them. Luckily for them, they found a good home for themselves and are having a fabulous time.

My destiny with pets, I guessed was at wit’s end. Kept dreaming about getting into a villa and have a pack of dogs and maybe find another Gaby in that somehow. When the desire got the better of me and I make a feeble attempt to bring another pup home, I face fierce resistance from stronger species. And then it happened. Our servant maid’s son landed up with a fish tank and left it at my place.

The fishes were so tiny that I needed an electron microscope to see them. And they were such boring creatures. The ones in that tank was dull colored and generally floated around almost looking forward to their date of death. I started wondering about my philosophy of managing my life with any animal species, because these guys didn’t even acknowledge my presence and they were swimming in my home. But anyway I was curious about them. Out of the 4, one fish ended belly up one morning. The second one disappeared without a trace. Broke my head on finding that Houdini fish and gave up! Maybe it committed suicide by jumping out or just didn’t bother to come back to the tank when the cleaning happened.

And suddenly, I announced that I will have an aquarium at home. Wanted to provide the best of the environments for the fishes to live! I never knew that setting up one could be so costly, but having decided there was no going back. It was one big learning process. What all goes into an aquarium, the fishes & the works. Blowing a fortune, I have now built one. Got about 5 pairs initially, as the fish doctor advised! I really wanted some 20 pairs because the aquarium could hold all the fishes in the Pacific Ocean, but the fish guy wasn’t too keen. He warned against two things. One is the adaptability of fishes and second is their peaceful coexistence.

The naming ceremony was big fun, they are called

Manjula & Jaldi Haldi,
Neelambari, Sigappi, Azhukki & Dirty Harry
Kallan & Kullan
Karuppasami and Mundakanni

And then my understanding about them changed. These fishes are amazing. Never knew that they had a mind on their own. My perception about fishes was limited to what you get at the restaurants. But 10 days with them now, I realize they could be real good pets. Each one has its own idiosyncrasy. The mean black sharks display maximum cowardice. They are scared about people’s voices. How come they are going to survive in a veritable zoo my home is, I don’t know. The yellow ones are extremely social and they can’t stand any fish being morose. They keep poking the out of mood fishes and encourage them to join the mainstream. The other bunch which the fish guy claimed to be friendly is living up to the name. Jumping at each other and generally swimming around as a school, they make the entire aquarium colorful.

The sad story is about the other pair, Kallan & Kullan. Third day on arrival, one of them died and I will spare the graphic details. And for the next 7 days, the other one has mourned for it, just staying at the same place only breathing. Never knew that they were so sensitive. And all of a sudden, I have started seeing them as real pets, the ones with real heart and care.

Now, I am worried. About the welfare of them! And going by the trend at home, it won’t be too long before a fish doctor is spotted and keeps visiting for maintenance. And we go thin because these tiny creatures don’t eat. :(

Change of Address

Hi Guys,

For a while I am hanging out in Sulekha. Check me out there.

http://tsganth.sulekha.com/

To Fix or Float

No this has got anything to do with my wanderlust nature. For that matter, if I ever thought in these lines, my choice would have been pretty simple. I prefer to float. Fixed is not my thing.

But if life’s philosophy by any chance is guided by home loans, I guess I may never float. Think about this. I was a happy-go- lucky guy who was peacefully staying in rented houses. Lived in 13 houses in 13 years! My job was the primary reason, but then staying in a rented place gave me the flexibility. I coolly answered that I am mobile. Since I never had the worry of renting my own house, adjust in a new place blah blah. And every time it was a change too. A little bit of an expense here and there in changing furnishings, but nonetheless a welcome change from the faded window screens and curtains that you convince yourself to live with in your own house. And in a way rented houses helped fueling my imagination about what my own house could be. And always stay optimistic that one day life is going to be great.

Then all of a sudden all this changed. One day I ended up seeing an advertisement that offered 110% loan for homes. Now that was my kind of loan. With just about 60 bucks in the pocket and a sizeable credit card loan, owning a house was a pipedream to me. And whenever that fancy occurred to me, I was brutally tossed away by the realities of real estate markets. 30% black money and in the balance 70%, you can get a loan for only 75% of that amount. In effect I needed to have atleast 45% plus of the property cost as my own funds. This was possible, only if any Nigerian royalty bequeaths his estate to me like it is claimed in the spam emails. So, I gave up my dream as soon as it cropped up.

And this 110% thing brought some real hope. I thought that maybe that Nigerian royalty has reincarnated as a Marketing Manager in IDBI bank. Jumped at the offer and mind you, my payslip was really respectful to fetch me a handsome loan. That is because payslips are not bank statements and they don’t tell the story of your credit-worthiness. Once I got the loan sanctioned, I started hunting for a house and found a real dream house which was just about 30% above my budget. Well it is a different story that I stayed dreaming big and eventually managed to buy the same property with 60 bucks in my hand, with a kindhearted friend buying tea for all the folks who turned up in the registrar’s office.

The bankers were also present to handover the first installment cheque to the builder. And in the melee, I don’t remember what I signed on. Not that I was an expert that on carefully reading the loan document, I would have taken a learned decision. My knowledge in money matters doesn’t really matter at all. My child can give me a lesson or two. ( OK, this was an exaggeration, being my child she also is zilch in that. Maybe some other child would be better ). Apparently I had chosen a Floating Interest rate.

That’s where the trouble is now. Things were ok for a couple of years and one fine day I got a missive from my bankers. They kindly asked me to make a part prepayment of the loan to retain the EMI amount and period as such. Couple of year’s progress only meant that instead of 60 bucks in my hand, I now had some 180 bucks in hand. And 180 bucks was not considered as part prepayment by my bankers. I took their alternate suggestion and increased my EMI amount by about 10%. Then life returned again to normalcy.

But then bankers are a different tribe. They will first allot sub prime loans, meaning they will provide loans what you don’t deserve and then come back at you heavily. I don’t know what kind of a honesty that is. So they started again. This time around though they knew I would be incapable of making part prepayment, what with the qualifying criteria for the amount not changing. So unilaterally they have just decided and informed me that my loan tenure has been extended by just another 13 years. I initially was overwhelmed with their best wishes of me living for another 13 more years than scheduled.

But then it pisses me off also. I was a happy-go-lucky guy. Didn’t I tell you that? Now I am worried. I don’t know whether my children will inherit the home or the loan. And I am also cursing myself for not being smart to choose a fixed interest rate. I don’t know when this ordeal will get over. I am certain that in another 2 years I will get one more letter stating that my tenure is now 120 years and I should nominate my grandson for repaying the loan.

One saving grace is that, they say that not a single bank offers a true-blue fixed rate and always retains the authority to change the interest rates as it deem to be. And 90% of the loaned population floats. Irrespective of whether they have read the fine print

Afterall I am an intelligent guy and I know I would not make a mistake. A dream penthouse with a 140 year loan tenure is not easy picking ok ?

Irumbukkai Maayavi

In my first post I reasoned out that I am going to blog because someone will reach out to me and give information on ‘irumbukkai maayavi’. And after almost a year, I did get some dope on this. Of course on my own! No one really reached out to me. I wonder about what these search engines do in life. But anyway now they helped me.

A bit of history before going further! There was a time in this Planet Earth when the television did not exist. And entertainment during that time was either playing out in the streets without wasting a single ray of the Sun or if the going really gets tough ( I am not talking about the Sun, but the heat that is generated at home because of my wanderlust ), one invariably land up with some comics. Well, I was still struggling with English and that meant comics were not the Tintin’s and the Asterix’s. They were Tamizh comics.

And Tamizh comics were of two genres. One was serialized in magazines with India and Indian characters as the base. My favorite there was ‘Moondru Manthirvathikal’ ( Three magicians ). One guy was capable of crossing 100 miles in one step, other guy was capable was drinking the whole ocean and the third guy I don’t remember. Their exploits to save a princess from an evil guy whose life was secretly vaulted inside a small flower that resided underneath an ocean which is beyond a million mountains blah blah, was simply awesome and I was really empathizing with the princess was mighty worried about her life ( Now I know why I am worried about the welfare of women and get friendly with them , it’s all because of the comics ). It used be great fun.

The second genre was comics translated from English. We had Phantom, Magician Mandrake, Irumbukkai Maayavi, David & Lawrence etc. While in most comics the characters just appeared as it is with the same name and just translated, irumbukkai maayavi alone had this special name. Was he any good!!! Don’t even ask, all my life I only wanted to be him. He had this steel hand from the wrist and if he put his finger into an electrical socket he will disappear. In the seventies, I guess there was nothing more exhilarating than this. Book after book I read and still it was always insatiable. And even after I grew up, I still have this craving to read about his exploits and been researching in the Net to figure out more.

And I hit pay dirt recently. I learnt more about my hero. He is Louis Crandell a.k.a Steel Claw. A British secret service agent at a later date, he starts as a Lab assistant who loses his hand in an accident and the metal prosthetic he fixes makes him so powerful. He gets invisible when he comes in contact with electricity. He becomes a crook first and does evil stuff with his newfound ability and later becomes a good guy. Now I am hopeful of getting some Louis Crandell comics from the US and read to my heart’s content.

Come to think of it, I guess these are the stuff that forms you as a person. What you read, what you believe while you are very young. Sometime so naïve to believe everything ( I once tried putting my finger into a socket like him and had a huge shock and thrown a few feet off . Hasn’t told anyone about this foolish exploit till now, then because of fear, till now because of shame.

Most times these days when I see my daughters glued on to the TV, I start cribbing that they miss all the fun in life, maybe it is the Parent ego state in me talking. But somehow I am certain that it was more fun then than what they have now. Graphics simply has killed the imagination of the kids.

Even now sometimes when it is kinda depressing I wish that I could become Maayavi and become invisible for a while. Or when I come across stupid but lucky guys, I wish I could just scorch them to ashes as a Maayavi.

The boy in you never dies!!! Or the idealist in you never sleeps!!!

http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/s/stclaw.htm

Places

There is an overwhelming demand about the next blog ( if you can call 2 people asking as overwhelming ). This two men army has asked why there is such a delay in writing and I already feel like a king. The fact that there are people expecting you to say something is heart-warming.

Just that I don’t have much to say. Been busy! That’s also a reason. Hey, this is not to say that I was idle in Sify, you may presume that at your own peril but you will be right in your presumption, just that I don’t want the guys who paid me handsomely to have some kind of remorse. But anyway they aren’t those types of people. If there is something called as remorse, there would be something called as conscience and that means they would atleast rarely do some right things. So let’s not worry too much about this. Yes I was having a lot of time while I was at Sify and now I find myself doing decent work.

Life is one funny thing. You seem to think that you belong to a place and grow a feeling of sadness about leaving the place. Only to come out and find that there are other places which are simply great. Places where you are seen as a human being, an intelligent one at that and give the respect you deserve. And I think maybe because you are new, people go out of the way to smile at you, please you and you get stuff like a new laptop, Datacard for remote connectivity blah blah on the first day, so you also start feeling pretty special.

But the fact is places are nothing but people. You feel sad about leaving the place because of the people there. There I can’t have any other feeling but sadness. And despite the respect in a new place, till the time the people know you as a person as you had been known, it is just an alien territory.

There is always a piece of heart that is left behind in every special place, a place made special because of wonderful folks. And I am not ashamed to say that I left a piece of mine at Sify.

This is dedicated to all you wonderful folks. May you all find special places for yourself pretty soon. And here is a stanza from an amazing song from Beatles about places.

There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all.

Storm in a 'B' cup

This is the latest raging debate in the US of A. This was triggered by what Hilary Clinton wore in a TV debate and a fashion writer chose to participate in the proceedings. Obviously he had no opinions about the National Security Policy and he decided to talk about what he knows and the security of the men around him. He commented about the pink blazer and the black tops which showed a bit of a cleavage line.

And then the storm started. Everyone is now jumping talking about how a woman is judged based on what she wears and not by what she talks. OK, I am not a prude. I am definitely not one. Why else I would try to be non-conservative by wearing a ponytail and bright shirts to work, when the bosses swear by what they call as Power dressing that is plain shirts in blue or white with a staid tie. But even I have my opinions about what women should wear for work.

Not that I am a MCP and have different rules for different genders. Just that, I am passing an opinion because I know what others talk about it ( as topic no 2 in a pubbing session, used to be no 1 earlier, but more recently at my office Boss-Bashing has become the pressing priority, this has been given the second slot ). It is like this. If someone is going to kid herself that men would look and comment upon women, which is catalyzed by what they wear, then we are in Planet Mars. I am not passing a judgment here whether it is right or wrong, or I may even confess that it is not right. But the reality is that men do.

The primary vocation of men I suppose is watching women and try to get a sneak preview. If the attempt is aided, then it is welcome. Maybe, if something changes in the way we reproduce then this will also change. Maybe when cloning is the order of the day and men had to use theirs for pissing only, this will change. But men’s brain is designed to look for opportunities to procreate and now that has become the main recreation. ( I know this is a typical MCP judgmental statement ! ). The fact I am trying to drive home is that, it takes an evolutionary change and not plain education and etiquette.

Otherwise, why would people talk about Sania’s T Shirt and nose ring instead of her forehand and backhands? It is tough on the women, but then I think it is so for men also when they are going to be watched. No one would approve a shorts & a blazer, tie unless you come from Fiji islands ( there I think they would not mind if women don’t wear anything on top, leave alone the cleavage ).

All I would say is that, just be prepared to be noticed if you dare to dress differently and you know you stand in a crowd. There are many people who have asked me in recent days about my long hair. They would. If you are men, they will walk across and talk. If you are women they will walk away and talk, including their own ilk.

But it is a shame, real shame. Even if I bring the evolutionary practices to men’s defense, it should be remembered that men adorned themselves with all kinds of ugly things to scare the enemy and women just did the opposite. So, guess we need to give them a break.

But then it is kind of tough to ignore a B Cup. Ain’t it ?

Quitting

It takes quite an effort to take the decision of quitting from an organization, where you had been gainfully employed for 9 long years. And that too, when you started your work there it was a start-up and later became a behemoth and you can take pride in making it so by contributing your bit.

Come to think of it, leaving a job of 9 years is something like divorce. Death & Divorce are highly personal according to me. There is no overt reason about why these stuff happen. But people inside would have suffered silently for long that they would rather welcome the end.

There will be some untellable reason that would force someone to take the extreme step of quitting a marriage, which mostly gets played to an audience that includes the ‘supposed’ stakeholders who are not an actual part of the marriage. Deep inside you would know nothing works and the marriage sucks. There will not even be a mirage of happiness in the couple of centuries to come. But you may still hang on, not even on the proverbial thread of hope, but out of sheer compulsion of the playing the main role in the drama. Afterall the audience loves it !!

This is all because at most times we don’t want to hurt people. We want to take the role of Atlas and carry the burden of the world on our shoulder and smile for a mug shot. Only you know that the knees are jelly and given a chance you will throw the world aside and sit down for a while. Or sometimes because of fear! Fear of an uncertain future ( actually this is a redundant phrase, when has future ever been certain ) , whether life will be the same after I quit. But if the current one is plain shit, why would you even care about how shittier future can become.

Actually all these symptoms should appear when you quit a 9 year job. Your throat gets parched, the fingers tremble while you type the letter of separation, get maudlin about leaving the folks with whom you have associated for half of your professional life, start thinking that furniture will miss you and strongly believe that the business will die without you.

For me, there is nothing like that. I am plainly delirious. I care a damn about what is in store for me in the so-called uncertain future. All I know that my present is simply great, after having taken a decision.

I feel light as if I have attained Nirvana. And I am soaked in a state of bliss and feel like that I am sitting on top of the world that Atlas carries. And I will tell you, it is much better to sit on top than carrying it. I would highly recommend it to all. : ))

Handyman

I am a handyman. But the first fear with folks at home when things conk off is about this ability of mine. Instead of being encouraging and appreciative, I am often laughed at. They feel that if the gadget failing is a misery; my trying to repair it is an addition to that misery.

Just think of it. There is something that works well and suddenly gets into a non-performance mode. What will you do as a guy who grew up a steady dose of logic? Isn’t so natural to figure out what is wrong with the damn thing? I hate losing to gadgets. How can they get the better of us when on first place we make them? Treating them like Frankenstein is just not my thing. For that matter to any self-respecting individual!

So, I pick up my tool kit at the drop of the hat every time we have such calamity at home. Sure I apply logic and arrive at the culprit part. But before that, it is a question of having the right tools. You are not a qualified mechanic and not being one means that you don’t have the proper paraphernalia. But then if that is going to be a deterrent, how on earth you will progress in life as a handyman. So, I generally employ a single screwdriver to unlock any type of screw, be it star, hexagonal, straight. Believe me, it works. It is just a matter of attitude and a bit of a pressure. Anything gives in. Only problem is that you can't lock them again. The threads can’t take so much pressure. Didn’t I tell you that the gadgets are lesser than you?

Once I get into the heart of the gadget, sometimes when the diagnosis is not very clear, I apply some trial & error. It does not cause more harm. The damn thing doesn’t work anyway on the first place. Somehow I identify the problem, but once again your unqualified nature conspires and you don’t have the corrective tools. No soldering iron, no lead and despite having known the issue, you end up not fixing it. That’s the biggest pain in the world.

But, sometimes the issue won’t be that big and I resolve it easily. The gadget starts behaving and I put it back together. And then find a couple of parts being redundant. The stuff works without them. The reason is the cost of real estate. These days it is so high that the manufacturers don’t want to store unnecessary stuff occupying space in their facilities. So, they dump it in your gadget. And it also gives a heavy big feeling when you cough up thousands of rupees.

In all, I am just thrilled about being so proficient, but folks have a completely different opinion about me. Plain jealousy I think! But it is true that anyway the gadget goes for service to the shop again or I end up buying a new one. Hey, it is my money OK ?!!

Parking

If you ask, in today’s life what is the biggest challenge, I would unhesitatingly vote for Parking. All your life, you keep thinking that you want to move on. But the biggest hurdle comes in the form of parking the vehicle.

Wherever it can be, whether an evening trip to a mall or the mandatory trip to the office in the morning. The most uncivilized behavior of human beings is at full flow during these times.

This morning, someone in the office parking lot was in a hurry. Which on first place I don’t understand about. If only we were making millions every minute that we need to rush like that, then my name would have been Bill Gates. This character was in such haste that he parked in a slope in neutral and ran towards the building. I was parked behind and I could see his car following him on it's own. But he wasn’t turning back a bit and his car continued moving till it kissed another car’s behind. Maybe it runs in their family!! Worse was that someone in that melee parked his car in that slot which the fuzzy intelligent car vacated.

And the shapes of the cars, I will tell you, there is not a single day I don't rue having a big car. Some cars that appear like suitcases can actually get parked horizontally in the same space allotted to you in which you break your side mirror. It’s a different fact that these cars can be lifted in reality from any parking space and drove on.

Finding your car without a remote beep is tougher than making George Bush intelligent. In a mall with multi-leveled parking, you get to your car only if you ancestors have fed millions of needy people. Otherwise, you buy a yellow car.

And the valets are a breed unto themselves! In huge demand, they always meddle your seat position, side mirror, and rear-view mirror for that small drive towards a slot. And when you get in, you feel like you have robbed a car and sitting on that.

To get rid of all these troubles, I have always considered having a driver. But the parking troubles are lesser compared to them. First they screw up your car, second they all think that in the entire solar system they know about cars and driving much better so much so, they reply to you in such condescending manner almost meaning to tell you, how in earth you bought such a big car when you can be so stupid.

I wish there will be a day they invent cars, that can move like crabs sideways, or something that is so intelligent that it can go home on its own and return to pick you up, or something that can shrink and expand as per will, that you can stop, shrink and pocket them. Or just plainly walk!!

Shock of my Life

Electricity is a dangerous thing. We have heard it many times. I, in particular am so scared of getting a shock. So much so, while I was in college in the EE Lab, I used to switch off the mains every time I changed circuits. One professor was watching this with amusement and asked me politely what was I trying to do. When I explained, he retorted, why didn’t you think about going to the sub station and switch off the mains there.

OK, I once again got a big shock yesterday. That was not because of any indiscretion from my part. It was the bill !! It was 4440 bucks. I didn’t know how we missed out the 4 in the tens unit !! Could have been a great number then, 4444! Apart from this there was nothing funny about it. Can you imagine, your bill running so high? For a moment I thought maybe Sun has taken a holiday only at our place.

Then I knew! It was the daughters! My suspicion is that these guys eat electricity and am going to crosscheck the provision bill for the month. That should be lesser. Afterall there is only so much kids can eat and they can't eat both electricity and normal stuff. My younger one walks into the house after a long 3 Hr school straight into her room, switches on the TV and AC. Then it is on all the time. So much so, that when I enter their room in the night to say Good night, I feel I am in Siberia and maybe think of taking visa next time. How on next morning these kids wake up soft is a mystery. They should actually be frozen and on tripping they should break. Maybe one day we will create history by getting frostbites in a place like Chennai.

If that was one piece of the puzzle, the other is our AC. My guess is that the machine should be older than Julius Caesar. It drones and drones. It actually doubles up as an anti-theft burglary alarm also. That’s why I haven’t thrown it off still. It makes more noise than it cools, that anyone attempting to break in will think that everybody is awake and there is a huge war happening and out of sheer safety compulsions, he would not attempt the task. Now, can you ill-treat a machine which does something beyond it’s brief? Where is compassion then? Anyway, my conscience working this way surely adds up to the bill though. Point is that, this grand old AC sucks up life from all other appliances also. The rest of them, dim and start moaning and one by one start dying soon I am sure.

And, my folks are a funny lot. The kitchen faces the sea at my house ( that’s another story unto itself, the builder for want of maintaining the vasthu has tucked the bedroom in one remote corner of the house and provided a great view of the sea from the kitchen. ). This means that the Sun is right up there in the morning coming into the kitchen. You know what these guys did? Since it was so hot, they covered the windows with a dark sunscreen and keep it closed. So, the light & heat is cut off. To have it in the ideal level, they then employ the fan and lights.

And of course the TV! One day when the younger one wasn’t there, I was completely restless. Then realized that without the voice of Popeye, Johnny Bravo, squeaking of Jerry, Bob the Builder and the Ninja Turtles, I am a goner. These guys actually own the living room. And one day I am certain they all would be sitting on the dining table with my kids.

Leave the washing machine that eats our money more than cleans, the refrigerator that is completely stuffed all the time, but does not produce one decent thing for you to eat when you want, the PC that suffers from a delusion of working on a 24 Hrs shift. These are the side cast.

It looks like it may cost me lesser if I pay 50 bucks everyday to the EB lineman to switch off the fuse in the post that carries the supply to my house. But then I would be searching the light of my life perennially then!!

Starstruck

I can’t understand our obsession with the film stars. For anything and everything we need them. Be it a Diwali day program on TV or a product launch, these guys are always there. And some of them would probably not know why they are there on first place. And absolutely ignorant of anything topical!

What are they doing in an event like a portal launch? Half of them would not know what Internet is!! Maybe they will seriously think that it has got something to do with mosquitoes. Not every star is so foolish, I know a few who swear by the Net; have their own blogs etc. But they don’t sell! The media doesn’t get excited. Or they will be 'out of market' actors who get qualified only for launching textile and jewelry shops. Prasanth and Laila are addicted to the Net. Maybe they can really add some real glitter to an event like this. But who cares? Everyone wants only Nameetha and how less she wears. That is if you want only stars for your event.

But if you are willing to look beyond, there are real stars like writers who have their Web-pages, written books in Tamizh about the Net, or involved in user’s associations etc! These guys can really lend some credibility and image to such an event. But it appears that Publicity means parading cinema stars, who capture the imagination of the media, make reporters come and write about their etiquette and attire than the event by itself.

I am really sick of this obsession. If you visit the page www.ted.com, you get all kinds of interesting video lectures from renowned people on various subjects on earth, but then who cares about all these, as long as we can see Nameetha’s thigh. Because that’s where the future of this country lies, for all you might know she could be our next Chief Minister.

Nice guys finish second

This term was beaten to death when Stefan Edberg was consistently losing at one point of time in his career. Superficially it appears to be true all the times.

We keep seeing all the guys who are something somewhere are not all that nice. Guys, who mean one thing and say another thing. A friend of mine had a theory about this, about one of our ex-bosses. He never used to open his mouth fully when he says something. My friend kept insisting that somehow I feel what he says is not honest. Which was proved more than once! And I used to tell, maybe his devil side says what he is saying and somewhere deep inside, there is a good side that stops him from telling completely, and hence subconsciously restricts the movement of his lips.

Well, not everyone has such good side in them. If they have, it is a well-kept secret, to even themselves. So, they all are pretty eloquent when it comes to telling stuff that they don’t mean a word about. The megalomaniacs we have seen in history are such characters. I guess they hallucinate and believe in their own lies. And I never cease to amaze about their ability to tell white lies. Anyway, these are people who reach places. Maybe they lose at the end. Whenever I get into the trip of how bad guys get all the good things, there are soul mates who never fail to remind me that ultimately whatever can be construed as real happiness is already there with me and the bad guys will lose at sometime.

I continue to argue saying that a villain in a movie has a great life all through the 3 hours while the hero struggles, so how does it matter if the villain dies at the end. You anyway don’t stay back in the cinema to see how happy the others were. That’s how it is in real life too. Bad guys keep winning everywhere and probably you won’t be around to see their downfall. Either you will change teams, or jobs or maybe even kick the bucket. What is the use in believing about ‘one day these guys will get their share’? Only way to tackle this is you also becoming a bad guy. But unfortunately for many of us, that’s not the way we have practiced our lives. So, we would never do.

But let me tell you one thing. Nice guys may finish second. But not all who finish second are nice. : ))

Me ( n ) & Cooking

There are many typecasts for men as much as it is for women. Like the whole Universe believes that women can’t reverse the car properly, men are seen as someone who can’t boil a decent pot of water. Not withstanding the fact that there are as many women driving cars as men and all the Chefs in the hotels are always men.

Me, I freak out on cooking. I call it therapeutic and get into the nerves of people around me. I get all kinds of rejoinders. How it can be therapeutic? Try doing that everyday! Try making the same stuff again & again! But I hold my ground firmly. Because that’s how I feel!

For me, it starts from chopping vegetables. I don’t allow anyone else to do that. And the main ingredient of all my cooking is Kingfisher. No, I don’t add beer to the recipe as they add wine in the west. This is for me, taken raw and cold. While I do the prep. If somebody else cuts the vegetables, I am somehow never happy.

And then I need some hundred people & pans for my help. An elaborate ritual of getting things set for the actual action. And then the creativity starts flowing. No recipe is followed as it is. It will always be stuff that I want to add. That’s all. So are the measures, they are always by feel. Then it is the fate of people who eat. So far no one has died and that’s good news. But I don’t know whether it could be something dormant and suddenly act up one fine day. I have never had a good taste of what I made. Either others gobble it up or I am well into my beer to taste really. But at the end of it, it’s great fun. I come out of the kitchen as if I have won a war and the place mercifully does not look like a horse stable. I am obsessed about that part. Only issue is that the sink is full of dishes that the maids need to use the sensory perceptions to reach the tap.

I guess I cook well. My daughters don’t stay in their grandparent’s place if they know I am getting into the kitchen and Krithi surely is extremely decent to give nothing but good feedback. My wife is more relieved that the ordeal is over, but neither has she complained much. Sorry she also has said that I do cook pretty well ( I don’t know whether there is some hidden agenda in there ) Afterall I think cooking runs in my blood. My mother is a great cook. But then she is a woman!!

Progress of Politicians

No, no don’t think I am a dreamer. For using a phrase which is contradictory in terms! Politicians won’t progress. That I know clearly. I was coming to something else.

The Printing industry in the country has seen tremendous advancement in recent years as much as others. That’s what is causing this progress. There was a time when any announcement on public meetings, functions were done is cheap materials. The supposedly larger than life politicians were all just stencil drawings. And then slowly it started improving and anyone who was willing to spend money wishing the leader a million years of life was duly noticed and rewarded with some posts that promised a lot of potential. So it was a rich man’s exclusive sycophancy game.

But now Vinyl’s are so cheap. Almost anyone can spend a little and put up huge billboards etc. You anyway don’t pay the corporation fee if you are in politics, so just making charges alone. So much so that even a family function like a girl attaining puberty is advertised big time with all the mug shots of what we call in Tamizh as ‘sutratthar & uravinar’ ( meaning Relatives & Neighbors ). Even I am tempted to erect a cutout for myself in front of my house when I get a new job. Just putting some names wishing me well and claiming me as the lifelong occupant of the new position and savior of the world. Only thing that stops me is the pathetic condition of these vinyls after a few days. There was this poster in which half the face of a guy got peeled off and it was extremely scary to see at nights. I would be damned if he would have maintained his self-esteem had he seen that.

Coming back to Politicians, didn’t I say that they have progressed? Now it is time to explain. All I meant was that their faces are clear now in the announcement. They are not that cartoons anymore. And not at the mercy of the painter’s hands. And that’s progress. And on the other hand, since everyone can play the bootlicking game so easily, now it is time for his or her creativity to capture the imagination of the leaders. Like fire-walking, padayatra’s etc. And that’s progress too!!!

Miracles

There is a news item in today’s TOI that it is a miracle that planes land safely in Indian runway’s, enlightenment dawned after the Brazil tragedy. Many times I have shared my thoughts on how air travel itself is a tragedy in India. However, I should accept that this has put a strong spoke in my travel plans that were anyway a non-starter because of weary legs and lack of motivation. I am not traveling. Period.

But coming back to miracles, my favorite anecdote always has been this dialogue between the Yaksha & Yudhistra in Mahabharatha. He says that the belief of people that they will live forever, when they see people dying all around them everyday as the biggest miracle. I thought I would list a few that I encounter myself.

• Brainless people controlling the fate of millions. Sometimes even a few hundreds!!
  
• Jayalalitha and her survival as a politician still.
  
• Belief of the financial institutions that they can sell loans through telecalling.
  
• Belief of hardcore optimists like me that things will eventually turn out to be good at office.
  
• People who behave as friends but do not have a single honest thought spoken out.
  
• Nice guys always finishing second.
  
• Ability of my erstwhile team to laugh and stay happy while under extreme duress in reality.
  
• Tamilnadu Congress party and their belief that they mean something to us.
  
• The Directors who always think that their movie is different from others.
  
• Folks who put up with me

In fact this could be an endless list, so much so that I will kill the sanctity of miracles themselves. But I should stop somewhere. I need to get busy creating a miracle. To stay focused on my seemingly important task.

What resides in the head???

Read today that some larvae have taken up residence in a man’s head at Dallas. Apparently it looked like a bump, but a bump that was moving under the skin. Obviously our friend was shit scared.

I don’t understand what the hoopla is all about. I keep meeting many people everyday who seem to have everything inside their head but brains. Luckily for them since they had been living like that for eternity they don’t get too suspicious or worried about their condition. And they also lack the fundamental part of the human body to even take cognizance of that fact.

I will tell you why I am being so certain. I see people act in a manner that is just exactly opposite to what commonsense would demand. What else but botfly larva would reside in their head? Even a fossil presence of what we call as brain would make them aware of what they are doing. But they don’t. Seemingly straightforward stuff eludes their understanding.

But if you look at them, they look like normal human beings. The head is not in a hexagonal shape or something because there is nothing inside. Looks fairly OK to me. So something else is filling the vacuum up. Before I got too restless to know what could be that filler, this larvae news came. And now I am relaxed. I know what it is. Maybe the change in behavior between two stupid people depends on the fly. Like if it is butterfly larvae it is one way, it is another way if its botfly.

The only thing that still eludes me is how these larva heads reach where they have reached!!!

Rocket Science

The famous refrain in sales meetings is this statement ‘It is not rocket science’. Well, guess I have become adept in that science too. These are not real rockets though, but paper arrows.

I never had to worry about the raw material for these rockets. There is a steady supply of them anyway on all days. I am talking about paper inserts that poor souls like me distribute after considerable expense of brain & money. Originally I have never been a strong proponent of this kind of communication exercise. I always complain that they are useless and they fall in the toilet ( if you are someone like me who can’t crap unless you see the typeset of ‘The Hindu’ ). So I have argued against using this mode for reaching out to prospective customers. However, at some point of time I also had to swim by the tide.

But the child in me, or the hardcore consumer in me never changed. Every Sunday the favorite pastime at my home along with my two daughters is making paper rockets out of these inserts and fly them. This is going on for quite some years that as of now I am a certified expert in making them and determining flight paths and also a good trainer in teaching others to fly these rockets.

I will tell you, nothing can match experience. By now, I know which company’s insert is good for rockets. It depends on the thickness of the insert. 90 GSM can’t fly far. While it takes off with considerable promise it invariably loses steam and crash-lands. 120 GSM is ideal for rockets. It can traverse the entire distance of my living room. And has this grace while flying. But best is art paper, though it has a weight problem. If the weight is not spread, sometimes the aerodynamics gets screwed up. Like this morning: when it landed on my cook’s eye ( don’t ask me about the expenses in treating that, when you are innovating there are bound to be some unforeseen expense and damage ). I remember a time when my rocket crossed the sit-out of my house and with ultimate precision got stuck into the hairdo of a passerby.

The guys at IIHT would win hands down anytime in providing the best raw material. Their inserts make the best rockets. The Pizza companies come a close second, but the offers that accompany, saves them from becoming a rocket most times. Hathway is the worst of all. And the cheap ones like your local plumbing works etc is pretty moody!! Could be good sometimes, could be disastrous some other time. All in all its great fun on a Sunday morning! With daughters making abortive attempts to fly rockets and me teaching them, it is quite a nice ice breaking and camaraderie creating session.

But I should agree on one thing. This does not happen without a small heartburn, when I realize that whatever paper insert exercise I do with my limited marketing budget could also meet this fate in someone else’s hands. It is not funny at all to imagine your money flying. Not funny at all :(

Learn to be a Real Man

You don’t need this advice first thing in the morning, do you? Thanks to Spam, I did get the advice. They probably were trying to sell some stuff to me, but then they have actually ended up irritating me. The whole man thing I guess is a pressure to modern day men. And worse is that being connected to some apparatus and what it can do.

What exactly is being a real man? I don’t think I know it. For that matter I don’t think there is anything different between real man and real woman. And typecasting something as man’s thing is an issue these days for sure. A woman does every damn thing a man does too! Barring the typical MCP joke of being not able to piss 2 feet away from the wall.

Honestly, everyone on earth has inherent fears. Men just don’t show it. That’s all. You can be a hero with people who either out of goodness or fear don’t tell you that you are an asshole. Otherwise, even the so-called hero’s do not have the courage to speak the truth. And disagree to things that are clearly not fair. They also have the same fear of things not going good for them, fear of losing. They also look for support, a shoulder to cry, reassurance and miracles. They also nurture a secret dream of all problems getting washed away when they wake up in the morning. They also are always a child getting carried away by small things that can cause sadness or happiness. It is just that they don’t speak out.

So what’s being a real man? It is all bull crap. The moment one accepts a stupid position and compromises on it, this entire man thing becomes hogwash. And even when the fog clears, out of sheer escapism no one touches the bad time even in thoughts and just steel themselves to look forward. Satisfy themselves by telling, what is the fun in revisiting it, everything is good now, so lets just move ahead.

In my lifetime I have never seen a real hero who was not afflicted by the stuff I mentioned earlier. And I don’t think of myself as a hero either, unless I make a collage of all great things I did in life, my audacity and my fearlessness when it was convenient etc. But only I know that I have been scared.

Risk

Read somewhere as a joke. As what earns you points with women. But, I can’t help but amaze at the profoundness and also the practical wisdom the joke carried. OK, now I know that I tread into dangerous waters. Maybe, there will be a retort, gentle or violent or maybe lots of lots of minus points. But then, men by nature take risks. Don’t they?

Well the joke starts like this.

“In the world, one single rule applies for men. Make the woman happy. Do something she likes you get points! Do something she dislikes your points get subtracted! You do something she expects, you don’t get any points. Sorry mate, that’s how the system works”

I have skipped the guide for the rating system. That’s purely subjective I guess. But this is how my list would go, only about coming home in time. If I touch upon everything then Google guys might jump at me for using up all their server space.

• Come Home early – 5 Points
  
• Come Home late – Minus 100 Points
  
• Come Home after a few beers – Minus Million Points
  
• Come Home late and still offer a drive for eating out – 10 Points
  
• Come Home early and read a book without talking – Minus 100 points
  
• Come Home early and tell that you want to eat and what is available is not something you want – Minus 1000 points
  
• Come Home early and want to have sometime for yourself – Minus 1000 Points
  
• Come Home late and sleep fitfully – Minus points for a lifetime which compounds everyday.
  
• Come Home early and be too very chirpy and play with children – Minus 1000 Points ( There I got you, you would have thought what is wrong in that , buddy please understand that Daddies spoil kids , they make them indiscipline and hog the only time they will study and so on… )
  
• Come Home early and just behave – No Points

OK, now you see, you can utmost scrap some 15 plus points in a day by one action that has the potential to incarcerate you in a dungeon for a lifetime. Which is better, come home early and get 15 points or just avoid the risk totally? No wonder I am late to home everyday. I am a very wise guy.