I always have this feeling when I walk into a cake shop. Guess it’s the happiest place on earth. There could be a lot of places where people go. Restaurants, Movies, Office, Functions and so on. But no one can guarantee that everyone who is around in those places at that time is there for a happy cause. There will be someone definitely who would be smarting under sadness in those places too. But in a cake shop, whoever is there is there only for a happy cause. Could be a birthday, anniversary, wedding or stuff like that. But the common denominator is the happiness. The only exception to it is the cake that they order for farewells. How come farewells can be a cake-cutting occasion? Left to me I won’t eat any farewell cakes. If you really want them there, you don’t cut cakes and deliver eulogies. Bloody hell, tell them how much it means to you to have them around and make them be around.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
My Mother
My mother left for hometown after a 3-month trip to Chennai, albeit in the most bearable of the times in the hot city. Not that she goes to cooler climes. This piece is not about that. It’s about the time she was here.
I keep asking myself this question every time, whether I do justice whenever she is here. There are obvious discomforts while she is around. She is very orthodox and that means what you think is normal behaviour is absolutely a crime. Starting from wiping the floor you sat and ate; well that’s not wrong, till the point cow-dung is insisted to be used. The only cows I know of this metro is of a different kind. Well that’s for starters, there are many such violations of her rules and I feel I am atleast a few hundred generations away. The rituals that I used to perform every month to remember my father’s death, does not hold any particular reverence to me now and I can see her disappointment at the seemingly flagrant affront to her husband, not withstanding the fact that I am just like her husband in every bit of me, starting from dead finger nails. The fact that I swear by him to run my life after his and there is not a day I have ate a morsel alone, just like him does not matter as much as the wonderful Sanskrit words I need to utter every month.
Ok that explains the difficulty I have while she is around. But these are minor ones because I don’t give up on what I believe as much as her and despite disappointing her I never give into what she wants. I can tell one thing for sure though. She is extremely proud of me and what I am and what I stand for. That she is of course about all the 8 of us. But, me, a special guy, after all I am the last and was made when she was forty. And like her husband, a totally unflustered character who never worried about the future. An innocuous explanation of my dad for having so many kids was a Tamil adage. ‘Maram Vachavan Thanni Oothayama Povan?’. It means that ‘Would a guy who planted a tree, wont water them?’ He was referring to God though and to his credit he himself watered enough and more.
Whenever she is there with me, I keep thinking about why this lady can’t enjoy all the great stuff in life rather than worrying about the silly stuff that does not happen. For example, an adhoc purchase of 2 sari’s costing 4K is not an everyday thing for her, but she was more worried about not getting the matching blouse. She has gone through pain, had 10 children in all, from a rich family, became middle class and now she is come a full circle with all her kids freaking out. But there is something she misses, and I don’t know what it is. If I did, I would get her that.
I never know whether I have told her that I love her, shown in actions many times, never told her once though. We all make the mistake, don’t we??
I was never the one who made the love so very obvious. In fact I used to ask her, how come you could love me the same when I am the 10th, would you not get tired? And for a major part of my life I believed that it was my eldest sister who was my mother and that suited me too. It was only when she got married and left home when I was 5, I started looking at my mother and am sure I was a pain all through. It was my sister who was a pet, the one who would look at mom’s face all through when we sit in a movie. But no one knows that all of us do that. We all always watch our parents. There is more in their face than any movie or life story can ever say. I don’t know whether my kids do that now.
I grew up with the belief that she won’t live long; they didn’t those days. So, in the middle of the night sometimes I used to wake up and see whether she is still breathing and if she did, slept peacefully then onwards.
And now, when every time she leaves, I keep thinking, is this is the last I see of her alive. But these days, its just not about her, I get an odd feeling that it could be either her or me.
I keep asking myself this question every time, whether I do justice whenever she is here. There are obvious discomforts while she is around. She is very orthodox and that means what you think is normal behaviour is absolutely a crime. Starting from wiping the floor you sat and ate; well that’s not wrong, till the point cow-dung is insisted to be used. The only cows I know of this metro is of a different kind. Well that’s for starters, there are many such violations of her rules and I feel I am atleast a few hundred generations away. The rituals that I used to perform every month to remember my father’s death, does not hold any particular reverence to me now and I can see her disappointment at the seemingly flagrant affront to her husband, not withstanding the fact that I am just like her husband in every bit of me, starting from dead finger nails. The fact that I swear by him to run my life after his and there is not a day I have ate a morsel alone, just like him does not matter as much as the wonderful Sanskrit words I need to utter every month.
Ok that explains the difficulty I have while she is around. But these are minor ones because I don’t give up on what I believe as much as her and despite disappointing her I never give into what she wants. I can tell one thing for sure though. She is extremely proud of me and what I am and what I stand for. That she is of course about all the 8 of us. But, me, a special guy, after all I am the last and was made when she was forty. And like her husband, a totally unflustered character who never worried about the future. An innocuous explanation of my dad for having so many kids was a Tamil adage. ‘Maram Vachavan Thanni Oothayama Povan?’. It means that ‘Would a guy who planted a tree, wont water them?’ He was referring to God though and to his credit he himself watered enough and more.
Whenever she is there with me, I keep thinking about why this lady can’t enjoy all the great stuff in life rather than worrying about the silly stuff that does not happen. For example, an adhoc purchase of 2 sari’s costing 4K is not an everyday thing for her, but she was more worried about not getting the matching blouse. She has gone through pain, had 10 children in all, from a rich family, became middle class and now she is come a full circle with all her kids freaking out. But there is something she misses, and I don’t know what it is. If I did, I would get her that.
I never know whether I have told her that I love her, shown in actions many times, never told her once though. We all make the mistake, don’t we??
I was never the one who made the love so very obvious. In fact I used to ask her, how come you could love me the same when I am the 10th, would you not get tired? And for a major part of my life I believed that it was my eldest sister who was my mother and that suited me too. It was only when she got married and left home when I was 5, I started looking at my mother and am sure I was a pain all through. It was my sister who was a pet, the one who would look at mom’s face all through when we sit in a movie. But no one knows that all of us do that. We all always watch our parents. There is more in their face than any movie or life story can ever say. I don’t know whether my kids do that now.
I grew up with the belief that she won’t live long; they didn’t those days. So, in the middle of the night sometimes I used to wake up and see whether she is still breathing and if she did, slept peacefully then onwards.
And now, when every time she leaves, I keep thinking, is this is the last I see of her alive. But these days, its just not about her, I get an odd feeling that it could be either her or me.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Kapunka Thailand
It was a wonderful four-day trip to Thailand. Sometimes, I feel like it was not just 4 days but more. Primarily because each day was a 20 Hour day and so that much longer than normal one’s.
I should say I enjoyed Pattaya more than Bangkok itself. Quite possibly the right thought also, as Pattaya happens to have all the strapping of a tourist & holiday destination than Bangkok, which is nothing but a Metropolis waiting to burst in its seams, with all the traffic jams and mechanized people.
People had been going gaga over Thailand, mainly as a destination for sex. I was thoroughly disappointed in that front. Thai girls suck (no pun intended). They look awful and flat and do not for once make you turn around and look again. And if at all, someone does, you can be sure that it is a eunuch. They look much better, prompting a rethink about sexual preferences. When they talk about the great progress that has been made in Silicon Technology, I never knew that it meant this. I even told one that she looks beautiful.
I should say I enjoyed Pattaya more than Bangkok itself. Quite possibly the right thought also, as Pattaya happens to have all the strapping of a tourist & holiday destination than Bangkok, which is nothing but a Metropolis waiting to burst in its seams, with all the traffic jams and mechanized people. People had been going gaga over Thailand, mainly as a destination for sex. I was thoroughly disappointed in that front. Thai girls suck (no pun intended). They look awful and flat and do not for once make you turn around and look again. And if at all, someone does, you can be sure that it is a eunuch. They look much better, prompting a rethink about sexual preferences. When they talk about the great progress that has been made in Silicon Technology, I never knew that it meant this. I even told one that she looks beautiful.
But what was gratifying is that these eunuches are treated with a lot of respect and not like what happens to them in India. My guide was explaining that, how difficult it has become to have a sex change operation these days unlike the past. She apparently has a friend of that kind. The fact that someone can acknowledge the fact that her friend is a lady-boy (they are called so) is heart warming. The openness of the society to accept someone’s individual preferences and treat them with respect is commendable. Anyway, I was excited more about the rare animals that I saw than anything else there. I got a feeling though, that the country was not too excited about having tourists. One of the worst places I had been to, when it comes to reception. People just don’t answer you properly and they are very curt, including police officials. Maybe because they are uncomfortable with English as a language and cannot communicate properly (they are vely vely solly most of the times about that). But more than that, I thought that they think the tourists are primarily there for sex and not to appreciate the beauty, tradition and culture of the land.
Beer and other drinks are sold in carts by the roadside, along with the entire insect kingdom being fried and sold. Walking Street in Pattaya, giving another dimension to its name just doesn’t sleep. We were up till 5 am one morning and the place was still rocking. I don’t know what does the collapse of Soviet Union means to them, but the greatest benefit out of that are the Russian girls who have migrated for the cabaret joints here. They are simply awesome. Tall & strapping, but with an innocent face, pandering to the age old dreams of men: body of a woman with a face of a child.
Going from a city of beaches and a house that practically sits on the beach, I am not supposed to be excited about the beaches. But Coral Island was different. The sand is so pure, white & soft. It’s so nice to feel them on your foot. I missed the ‘molaga bajji’ though.
Thai music was another revelation. Almost all songs have a melancholic strain in them, but every now and then moves into an area that denotes a big expanse and hope. Maybe that’s what is the story of Thailand. Not very happy inside but hopeful of something better to come.
But for me, I would say ‘Kapunka Thailand’ meaning Thank You in Thai.
Going from a city of beaches and a house that practically sits on the beach, I am not supposed to be excited about the beaches. But Coral Island was different. The sand is so pure, white & soft. It’s so nice to feel them on your foot. I missed the ‘molaga bajji’ though.
Thai music was another revelation. Almost all songs have a melancholic strain in them, but every now and then moves into an area that denotes a big expanse and hope. Maybe that’s what is the story of Thailand. Not very happy inside but hopeful of something better to come.
But for me, I would say ‘Kapunka Thailand’ meaning Thank You in Thai.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Five Point Someone
Stage adaptation of books is a tricky business. That too, when it happens to be a popular book. Mainly because, when you read a book and like it, you create your own images for the characters and that can differ from person to person. So, when a Play comes across as good as the book, one should doff his hat.
Five Point Someone belongs to this genre. The book was immensely popular and well liked. And because of the story line, it was more a book about your own college days and not just the story of three IIT’ians. I am certain that everyone could empathize with those boys in the book and so would have had huge expectations from the Play.
Boy, was it Good!!! It was fantastic. The director should have had some solid faith in her script, that there was just narration and dialogues. No sweat about the props, nothing. And it was extremely novel to see an author narrating the story; while as a character someone else plays him.
No point in dwelling about the superlative performances of the actors, veterans and the youngsters alike. The adaptation was so very good. In a way I felt like I was reading the book again.
Surprising was the liberal use of the ‘F’ word in the dialogues. Theatre has come a long way in Chennai. To think of it, 50 years back , it was males who donned the ‘Sthree Part’. Many famous actors of the tinsel town graduated that way. Later, though it improved a bit, still there were no amateur female artists. Even in today’s Tamil plays, you have all the males as amateur artist, while the females are professionals. So, to see physical closeness and hugging in the stage was strange. Maybe, the doyens like Pammal Sambantham Mudaliar , TK Shanmugam & the likes would be turning up in their graves.
But, all in all the Play was good that you even didn’t feel that there was no break in between. Touched a chord with the audience. One scene stands out in my mind. With absolutely no dialogues, and only a spotlight on, the author’s post-coital expression was awesome.
Five Point Someone belongs to this genre. The book was immensely popular and well liked. And because of the story line, it was more a book about your own college days and not just the story of three IIT’ians. I am certain that everyone could empathize with those boys in the book and so would have had huge expectations from the Play.
Boy, was it Good!!! It was fantastic. The director should have had some solid faith in her script, that there was just narration and dialogues. No sweat about the props, nothing. And it was extremely novel to see an author narrating the story; while as a character someone else plays him.
No point in dwelling about the superlative performances of the actors, veterans and the youngsters alike. The adaptation was so very good. In a way I felt like I was reading the book again.
Surprising was the liberal use of the ‘F’ word in the dialogues. Theatre has come a long way in Chennai. To think of it, 50 years back , it was males who donned the ‘Sthree Part’. Many famous actors of the tinsel town graduated that way. Later, though it improved a bit, still there were no amateur female artists. Even in today’s Tamil plays, you have all the males as amateur artist, while the females are professionals. So, to see physical closeness and hugging in the stage was strange. Maybe, the doyens like Pammal Sambantham Mudaliar , TK Shanmugam & the likes would be turning up in their graves.
But, all in all the Play was good that you even didn’t feel that there was no break in between. Touched a chord with the audience. One scene stands out in my mind. With absolutely no dialogues, and only a spotlight on, the author’s post-coital expression was awesome.
I missed out Magic Lantern’s ‘Ponniyin Selvan’, which happens to be my all time favorite novel turned play. Glad that I did not miss this one though.
Who is 'They?
I am mighty pissed about this whole ‘they’ business. I really have never comprehended who is this ‘they’. It seems everyone everywhere seemed to be worried about ‘they’. What will ‘they’ think? What will ‘they’ say?
Appears to me that no one in this earth lives for himself or herself. It is for ‘they’. I am not using ‘them’, if you see. Them could be a bit specific. This ‘they’ is not. It is like God. Omnipresent but can’t be seen for hell. No one knows who ‘they’ are, but always seem to know what ‘they’ will say or think. Funny, absolutely funny.
If this ‘they’ are your neighbors, why the hell we need to be worried about what ‘they’ think, I could never understand. How do ‘they’ matter to us? If it is friends or folks, how come ‘they’ cant understand why do we what? Or atleast why not come up and tell what ‘they’ think? And if 'they' are in general, the society, how the f*** I care?
Many of us don’t realize that we form a part of someone else’s ‘they’ too. And just by being a different ‘they’ , the whole crazy stuff can be changed. I think to do that , you cant have the clichéd ‘they’ thoughts. You need to have something on your own. Then you are not amongst the group.
Appears to me that no one in this earth lives for himself or herself. It is for ‘they’. I am not using ‘them’, if you see. Them could be a bit specific. This ‘they’ is not. It is like God. Omnipresent but can’t be seen for hell. No one knows who ‘they’ are, but always seem to know what ‘they’ will say or think. Funny, absolutely funny.
If this ‘they’ are your neighbors, why the hell we need to be worried about what ‘they’ think, I could never understand. How do ‘they’ matter to us? If it is friends or folks, how come ‘they’ cant understand why do we what? Or atleast why not come up and tell what ‘they’ think? And if 'they' are in general, the society, how the f*** I care?
Many of us don’t realize that we form a part of someone else’s ‘they’ too. And just by being a different ‘they’ , the whole crazy stuff can be changed. I think to do that , you cant have the clichéd ‘they’ thoughts. You need to have something on your own. Then you are not amongst the group.
And for all you know, you might even have a name then. Your own… Shrikanth said this, Shrikanth will think so. But then atleast you are not in that ‘they’ group.
Friday, December 15, 2006
The year that went by
It’s too early for this piece. Atleast 2 weeks earlier! But I presume, nothing much or bigger can happen in the next 15 days, that will overshadow the 350 days that went by. And I hope not too. Looking forward for a sedate time.
How exactly this year had been? Well its mixed I should think. One way to look, life has never been so good. Things that I had only dreamt earlier happened. Things I had been wishing for ages happened. If I make a balance sheet of good and bad things that occurred, then good column should be bigger. So no complaints!
Let me list out all the good ones first
- Found a best friend.
- Got some real good money.
- Bought a new car.
- Shopped till I was bored.
- Collected footwear and shirts like women.
- Got promoted to a meaty role.
- Daughters as usual loved me more than the previous year.
- Had a big holiday.
- Did a few good things for the needy.
- Good stuff happened to friends.
- Wifey landed up doing what she always wanted to do.
- Partied as if it is end of the world.
- Started writing (apart from blogging, which also started this year)
- Collected more number of books than what I already had.
- Read more books than the previous year.
- Lagey Raho Munna Bhai happened.
- Chatted, sms’ed, mailed, spoke more than ever.
- Made useful expenses as much as frivolous ones.
Now the bad ones
- A visit to the ICU and popping up more tablets than ever.
- More people quit at office.
- Bitten by a loneliness & wanderlust bug.
- Friend’s dad passed away.
- Everyone got busier.
- Saw lesser number of movies.
I am now prompted to think, that at any given point of time a balance sheet of this kind, will only have more good things. There is good all around and if we trained ourselves to see those, life appears to be good. But, it is also true that bad things when they do happen are big in magnitude. Or maybe, we don’t even remember small bad things, which is good in a way. Our mind wants to keep more good stuff than bad stuff and that’s good news.
Pain & misery seem to be there, but then how else we can recognize the good things?! In this book ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff….and its all small stuff’ by Richard Carlson, there was this wonderful lesson. If something bugs you so much, just stop and think whether it is going to matter so much the next year and then you know you don’t have to sweat.
But , ‘Easier Said than done’ Richard ……..
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Gizmo
I recently read that toys always fascinate men. For older men, it is the gizmos. As much as a girl would fall for a teddy bear, boys will fall for anything that works in some mysterious way. Be it a simple stapler, a transparent one with dials & stuff will excite a boy.
Mine was the iPod Nano. Should have bought this long time back, but somehow good sense dawned upon me a year back to postpone all gadget buying (though a worldspace or two just slipped in). It was primarily because I was buying all new introductions in the market at a vulgar price which later sells at half the cost and my service expense are always higher the new piece in the market. So I decided not to jump and buy an iPod.
Mine was the iPod Nano. Should have bought this long time back, but somehow good sense dawned upon me a year back to postpone all gadget buying (though a worldspace or two just slipped in). It was primarily because I was buying all new introductions in the market at a vulgar price which later sells at half the cost and my service expense are always higher the new piece in the market. So I decided not to jump and buy an iPod.
My daughter has been bitten by this bug of surprising my wife and me on our B Day’s. Invariably she needs the support of either one of us to execute that. And we both can’t keep things from each other. And we make a mess of this surprise thing and disappoint my daughter no end.
Few days before my B’ Day, my daughter wanted to go out and I screamed at the poor thing for always wasting time when the exams are happening. She was mighty disappointed and was crying. And she happens to be my life. This prompted my wife to once again break the surprise. Apparently, she wanted to go check out on the gifts. So, I suggested we go and not tell her that I know the purpose.
And I landed up first in this gizmo shop. And itched to buy this Nano. But could not, as I was told by my wife that it is supposed to a surprise to me. We walked out without buying. Not before getting the number of the shop-wala. And for a week, it was my turn to be waiting and practice surprise. It is a pain waiting for something you want and that too when you know you can get. Well I had no choice and I was gathering all the songs that I want.
At last it was given. And from then onwards, even while brushing I am wearing that and some songs have gone into the bloodstream by now.I suddenly realized that there were new sounds in the old songs that I have heard a zillion times. And I am hooked. I would say it is an amazing find, this iPod. Just to carry around so many songs on you is simply awesome.
Few days before my B’ Day, my daughter wanted to go out and I screamed at the poor thing for always wasting time when the exams are happening. She was mighty disappointed and was crying. And she happens to be my life. This prompted my wife to once again break the surprise. Apparently, she wanted to go check out on the gifts. So, I suggested we go and not tell her that I know the purpose.
And I landed up first in this gizmo shop. And itched to buy this Nano. But could not, as I was told by my wife that it is supposed to a surprise to me. We walked out without buying. Not before getting the number of the shop-wala. And for a week, it was my turn to be waiting and practice surprise. It is a pain waiting for something you want and that too when you know you can get. Well I had no choice and I was gathering all the songs that I want.
At last it was given. And from then onwards, even while brushing I am wearing that and some songs have gone into the bloodstream by now.I suddenly realized that there were new sounds in the old songs that I have heard a zillion times. And I am hooked. I would say it is an amazing find, this iPod. Just to carry around so many songs on you is simply awesome.
Maybe one day the interest will wane. But by that time, I should have become deaf.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The Following Sea
There is this concept called ‘Following Sea’. A huge wave that chases a boat in the sea is called as the Following Sea. It is such a sight to behold while one is in the sea. I had this experience when I ventured inside on a Red Flag day. The flag itself means ‘Don’t Go inside’, but anything forbidden is always tastier as it tastes of sin, like they say.
Of-course we were all dressed up in Life Jackets and there were 3 locals who accompanied us. I didn’t have hell of a hope to swim out if something happened, life jacket or no. And added to it, I really didn’t know how to swim also. But sometimes, there is such a lure, and adrenalin flows in full and you catch the bait.
Going into the sea is always more challenging as you hit incoming waves. There is so much skill with these fishermen, who sidetrack the waves most of the times and you zip through a wall of water on both sides. But there were a few moments of scare, when we rode a crest and came down with a thud. Its one thing with men, in a group, everyone is foolishly brave and whatever fear one has, it is all kept inside. You aren’t a man, if you show fear. Back to the primitive days of a hunting group with the terrain as your enemy.
After a couple of km’s, fear got the better of us and many of us nonchalantly suggested that maybe its time to go. After all we were there in Temple Bay for a training meet, the trainer would be waiting for us. Then started the saga of the ‘Following Sea’.
All these waves that we were braving to go against, were now behind us, or should I say ‘after us’. Easily 6 foot in height, they chased and chased. It was a question of who is faster, the boat or the waves!!! Felt such a rush inside, but with no resistance forward it was also an extremely pleasant ride being pushed by the force of the tides. The chase lasted all of 7 to 8 minutes and we were back to some still waters.
Then you know what would have happened, we were men really and promptly some of us jumped into the sea, floated for a while. And started the trek back home.
Of-course we were all dressed up in Life Jackets and there were 3 locals who accompanied us. I didn’t have hell of a hope to swim out if something happened, life jacket or no. And added to it, I really didn’t know how to swim also. But sometimes, there is such a lure, and adrenalin flows in full and you catch the bait.
Going into the sea is always more challenging as you hit incoming waves. There is so much skill with these fishermen, who sidetrack the waves most of the times and you zip through a wall of water on both sides. But there were a few moments of scare, when we rode a crest and came down with a thud. Its one thing with men, in a group, everyone is foolishly brave and whatever fear one has, it is all kept inside. You aren’t a man, if you show fear. Back to the primitive days of a hunting group with the terrain as your enemy.
After a couple of km’s, fear got the better of us and many of us nonchalantly suggested that maybe its time to go. After all we were there in Temple Bay for a training meet, the trainer would be waiting for us. Then started the saga of the ‘Following Sea’.
All these waves that we were braving to go against, were now behind us, or should I say ‘after us’. Easily 6 foot in height, they chased and chased. It was a question of who is faster, the boat or the waves!!! Felt such a rush inside, but with no resistance forward it was also an extremely pleasant ride being pushed by the force of the tides. The chase lasted all of 7 to 8 minutes and we were back to some still waters.
Then you know what would have happened, we were men really and promptly some of us jumped into the sea, floated for a while. And started the trek back home.
I could see a great relief in many of the faces. Me ?! There is a term in Tamil called as ‘Prasava Vairakiyam’ ( it means that , when in labour all kind of resolutions like ‘never again’ even for pleasure will be taken and of course promptly broken later ). It was the same. I was scared to death and vowed not to be so foolish ever again while we were going in. But when I reached the shores, I was thinking maybe next time I should kill fear and enjoy the sea more. :)
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Womenfolk... Read only if you can handle it ....
Why a man should not marry??????
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
---------------------------------------
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. -- Oscar Wilde
---------------------------------------
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -- Sam Kinison
---------------------------------------
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
---------------------------------------
"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
---------------------------------------
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
---------------------------------------
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
---------------------------------------
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
---------------------------------------
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
---------------------------------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
---------------------------------------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
---------------------------------------
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
---------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
----------------------------------------
"Marriage is a romantic story, in which hero dies in the first chapter".
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
---------------------------------------
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. -- Oscar Wilde
---------------------------------------
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -- Sam Kinison
---------------------------------------
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
---------------------------------------
"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
---------------------------------------
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
---------------------------------------
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
---------------------------------------
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
---------------------------------------
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
---------------------------------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
---------------------------------------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
---------------------------------------
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
---------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
----------------------------------------
"Marriage is a romantic story, in which hero dies in the first chapter".
Truth & Lies
I have always been fascinated by truth & lies.
The way people tell lies!!
Some are pathological liars. Can’t tell truth even by accident. Some liars believe in their own lies. Some are suave liars. They actually never tell a lie themselves. But ensure that what is understood is a lie. Some have no regret whatsoever telling lies and strongly believe it is for the good (whose I don’t know). Some are pathetic liars. Don’t even realize that their lies are being laughed at, while they are even saying that.
Debate about truth has been there from Vedic times. Aadhi Shankara asked ‘ If there was no one to see, is the sky still blue’? Anything becomes truth only when there is some one to endorse what you say. Truth is always corroborative. So, if one can find many people endorsing what they say, they can very well make lies sound as truth. Like Goebbels, or some of our own politicians.
But sometimes, lies help. If they are sweet ( you look very beautiful ), If they really help others, If they can save people from misery, If they can build hope ( Don’t worry, everything will be alright tomorrow )….
I am just giving a few tips on how to tell lies (they are not mine really, I read them somewhere ). Here they are
The way people tell lies!!
Some are pathological liars. Can’t tell truth even by accident. Some liars believe in their own lies. Some are suave liars. They actually never tell a lie themselves. But ensure that what is understood is a lie. Some have no regret whatsoever telling lies and strongly believe it is for the good (whose I don’t know). Some are pathetic liars. Don’t even realize that their lies are being laughed at, while they are even saying that.
Debate about truth has been there from Vedic times. Aadhi Shankara asked ‘ If there was no one to see, is the sky still blue’? Anything becomes truth only when there is some one to endorse what you say. Truth is always corroborative. So, if one can find many people endorsing what they say, they can very well make lies sound as truth. Like Goebbels, or some of our own politicians.
But sometimes, lies help. If they are sweet ( you look very beautiful ), If they really help others, If they can save people from misery, If they can build hope ( Don’t worry, everything will be alright tomorrow )….
I am just giving a few tips on how to tell lies (they are not mine really, I read them somewhere ). Here they are
- Don’t tell lies for small things.
- Objective of the lie should be very important.
- Tell lies when it is unexpected.
- Before telling a lie, analyze chances of success of that lie.
- Be careful while telling a lie.
- Tell Fair lies (don’t tell lies which are totally unbelievable)
- Your lies should satisfy the listener in some way.
But my advice, if there is anyone to listen to it. Don’t tell lies. More than for the moral side of it, truth is just very very convenient. You don’t have to remember what you told, if its plain truth.
Trip to ICU
Now, it is not great fun being in an ICU and sometimes could be terrifying. I can imagine a few loving folks chasing me with whatever they could lay their hands on, as they sat outside worried, praying and wishing me well.
But I am tempted to talk about it nonetheless.
Now, firstly, I don’t understand how they decide at the hospital that one should be admitted into the ICU. My best guess, as the reason is ‘Mediclaim’. If you are insured and if it is for a healthy amount (ironical, healthy amount), then you get into an ICU. Otherwise, maybe just a room, or a ward. I don’t think at my age, it was purely medical reasons only. Well, anyway, I managed to get into in.
Secondly, I can’t just understand, why they strip you completely as if you are taken into Gitmo, Cuba. Stand-alone, if a female asks you to strip completely, you should be delighted and jump at it. Not at an ICU though. You are sick, mind you and you are not allowed to jump. And then they depute a matron who will probably retire or drop dead the next day, to make that all-important statement. My guess on this is that, they don’t want you to escape.
Third, I climbed up the stairs in the hospital to see the cardio, but an hour later they want to put a nasal catheter for breathing. I was afraid that it would block my breathing more. Politely informed my interest in continuing to live and declined that honour.
And then all these Heart Meters and latest high – tech equipments attached to you and if you really were sick, you can see the Pearly Gates at the sight of these machines. It is just like the movies, a blue colour LED display running and to my great disappointment, I was not being chased to be murdered or so. I plainly sat waiting for the food, which apparently is the real murderer employed. Maybe that’s a psychological ploy. Patients for want of better food, will themselves to get better and walk out. Who knows?
And then your bedfellows!!! One was a very old lady who kept to herself most of the time. The other guy next to me looked like as if he was staying there permanently. He knew all the attendants by name in all the shifts. One poor patient’s helper disappeared for the whole day. And there was this other guy who had be fed through a funnel. They all were really sick I guess. Me, I was sitting, watching, waiting for some excitement. Nothing happened. It was status quo.
One solace is when they take ECG, applying cold gel can turn you on, provided it is a drop-dead nurse and not a dropping dead one.
Otherwise it is pretty boring. But by the time, I decided that I will spend my time usefully flirting with one of the good-looking nurses, they let me out :(
But I am tempted to talk about it nonetheless.
Now, firstly, I don’t understand how they decide at the hospital that one should be admitted into the ICU. My best guess, as the reason is ‘Mediclaim’. If you are insured and if it is for a healthy amount (ironical, healthy amount), then you get into an ICU. Otherwise, maybe just a room, or a ward. I don’t think at my age, it was purely medical reasons only. Well, anyway, I managed to get into in.
Secondly, I can’t just understand, why they strip you completely as if you are taken into Gitmo, Cuba. Stand-alone, if a female asks you to strip completely, you should be delighted and jump at it. Not at an ICU though. You are sick, mind you and you are not allowed to jump. And then they depute a matron who will probably retire or drop dead the next day, to make that all-important statement. My guess on this is that, they don’t want you to escape.
Third, I climbed up the stairs in the hospital to see the cardio, but an hour later they want to put a nasal catheter for breathing. I was afraid that it would block my breathing more. Politely informed my interest in continuing to live and declined that honour.
And then all these Heart Meters and latest high – tech equipments attached to you and if you really were sick, you can see the Pearly Gates at the sight of these machines. It is just like the movies, a blue colour LED display running and to my great disappointment, I was not being chased to be murdered or so. I plainly sat waiting for the food, which apparently is the real murderer employed. Maybe that’s a psychological ploy. Patients for want of better food, will themselves to get better and walk out. Who knows?
And then your bedfellows!!! One was a very old lady who kept to herself most of the time. The other guy next to me looked like as if he was staying there permanently. He knew all the attendants by name in all the shifts. One poor patient’s helper disappeared for the whole day. And there was this other guy who had be fed through a funnel. They all were really sick I guess. Me, I was sitting, watching, waiting for some excitement. Nothing happened. It was status quo.
One solace is when they take ECG, applying cold gel can turn you on, provided it is a drop-dead nurse and not a dropping dead one.
Otherwise it is pretty boring. But by the time, I decided that I will spend my time usefully flirting with one of the good-looking nurses, they let me out :(
Friday, September 22, 2006
For the weekend
Been out of action for a long time, still no time to sit, reflect and write. Anyway , one for the weekend
Have a nice weekend :))
Have a nice weekend :))
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Great Short Stories
Thought I will list out of dozen of the Great Short stories I have read. Each unique in their own way.
1) Do you Remember ? -- Earl Reed Silvers
2) The Open Window -- Saki
3) Lamb to the Slaughter -- Roald Dahl
4) A Dog from Nowhere -- Havilah Babcock
5) October and June -- O.Henry
6) Miracle of 15 Murderers -- Ben Hecht
7) After the wedding -- Hugh Cave
8) The Man who liked Dickens -- Evelyn Waugh
9) Mr Know-it-all -- Somerset Maugham
10) The Selfish Giant -- Oscar Wilde
11) A Question of Taste -- Roald Dahl
12) Verger -- Somerset Maugham
There could many more to this list added, but these 12 according to me can be rated as the Top 12.
1) Do you Remember ? -- Earl Reed Silvers
2) The Open Window -- Saki
3) Lamb to the Slaughter -- Roald Dahl
4) A Dog from Nowhere -- Havilah Babcock
5) October and June -- O.Henry
6) Miracle of 15 Murderers -- Ben Hecht
7) After the wedding -- Hugh Cave
8) The Man who liked Dickens -- Evelyn Waugh
9) Mr Know-it-all -- Somerset Maugham
10) The Selfish Giant -- Oscar Wilde
11) A Question of Taste -- Roald Dahl
12) Verger -- Somerset Maugham
There could many more to this list added, but these 12 according to me can be rated as the Top 12.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Reunion
There has never been a time when I have thanked the power of Net this much than now. I went into my college ( that I passed out 21 years back ) and met up with the old Prof's and shared my number. And they promptly posted it in the Alumni website.
And I was found !!! First call came in last week and a few more followed and we all resolved that we will certainly meet the next weekend. Now that was another thing. To keep up with the resolve. Maybe the fact that some of us haven't met for so long made it happen. This evening. Just 5 of us .. But , it was still some 70% of the gang. 5 out of 7 people. Its a miracle that we were all in the same city in this flat world. Mala & Suresh are in Australia & US. They would have given the right arm to be with us I am sure, if only had they been there in India.
It was left to me , Mani , Tubby , Geetha & Chitra to have all the fun. By God, was it fun ?!! Never before in life had I felt so delirious. These are guys who know you or atleast knew you were stupid. :)) All your air about what you are today just doesnt strike you or others. These are people, who know the real you.It kinda brings you back to earth and at the same time makes you proud that you have done decently for yourself growing in life.
And I was found !!! First call came in last week and a few more followed and we all resolved that we will certainly meet the next weekend. Now that was another thing. To keep up with the resolve. Maybe the fact that some of us haven't met for so long made it happen. This evening. Just 5 of us .. But , it was still some 70% of the gang. 5 out of 7 people. Its a miracle that we were all in the same city in this flat world. Mala & Suresh are in Australia & US. They would have given the right arm to be with us I am sure, if only had they been there in India.
It was left to me , Mani , Tubby , Geetha & Chitra to have all the fun. By God, was it fun ?!! Never before in life had I felt so delirious. These are guys who know you or atleast knew you were stupid. :)) All your air about what you are today just doesnt strike you or others. These are people, who know the real you.It kinda brings you back to earth and at the same time makes you proud that you have done decently for yourself growing in life.
Now the talk itself was big fun. Tried catching up with a few names finding out who is where. And then some funnier stuff about who had a crush on whom. Its so easy today. To accept and laugh at it , 20 years back this would have either a scandal, or a heartbreak story or a big mess. Now it was laughter all the way.
And , men !! do they ever grow ?? :)) the boy inside you never dies and just not that, it waits for the first available opportunity to take charge. 40 plus !! so what ?? You are still that guy who the Prof's hated , went around with girls , knew the trees more than the classrooms. Can you believe that we all still can be the same. Chitra is the same girl whom we used to tease and make her cry. Geetha with that 100 mph talk , Mani & Stephen the same moderators and sense infusers. Me, the same dramatist.
Missed the other 2 wild guys though. They would have added more colour. Kids were there, maybe they were laughing at their madcap parents.
Feels like it will take a lifetime to talk all we want. And a lifetime to change what we feel about each other.
Chitra's innocence ( BTW, she is a strict teacher .. ok :)) ) , Geetha's big laugh and great singing , Tubby's stateliness and Mani's subtle sense of humour and capability to get away with doing what all I do :))
May God bless their tribe... And guys, we will keep seeing together till we get bored of each other, which is unlikely.
Sea
The Sea never ceases to amaze me. It always appears to me , that it tries to communicate something to us. And sometimes to me personally. I live so close to the Sea looking at it day in and day out, that I feel it has a special character. And its moods and appearances change as per the time of the day.Sometimes its so rough and angry and sometimes its so silent and gentle. On a bright moonlit day, the Sea would give me all the reason to go on and on in this life.
It will funnily become silent between ferocious waves sounding. And it will change colours as it wishes. Sometimes brown , sometimes green , sometimes blue and sometimes very dirty and grey.
Close your eyes and catch the rythm of the waves, you would be in heaven. I used to get stoned by a piece from Hariprasad Chaurasia called ' Ocean & the Creek '. That composition uses the sound of the waves as a background and slowly as it progresses , grows bigger and bigger till it takes over completely. That will be a journey unto itself. Always had been dreaming about living by the sea. And I have kinda done that.
But I mostly choose a Beach Resort for my holidays still :))
Friendship
Once again, back to a translation .... Well not exactly a perfect translation. Maybe we will call plagriased.
Friendship
Gulping food in haste
Catching a crowded bus
Hang on the footboard
Rush to the office
Escaping the growl of the boss and
Pestering of the colleagues
Clarifying a million doubts
For a buxom typist
And slide into the seat
To push pencil .... and
Lunchtime arrived
When I came close to the window
Opened the Lunchbox
Like always, peeped in the Baby squirrel.
The original is fairly old , about 2 decades maybe, wish the poet saw life today. These all are still there, but ... Only no space for the baby squirrel to peep in ...
Friendship
Gulping food in haste
Catching a crowded bus
Hang on the footboard
Rush to the office
Escaping the growl of the boss and
Pestering of the colleagues
Clarifying a million doubts
For a buxom typist
And slide into the seat
To push pencil .... and
Lunchtime arrived
When I came close to the window
Opened the Lunchbox
Like always, peeped in the Baby squirrel.
The original is fairly old , about 2 decades maybe, wish the poet saw life today. These all are still there, but ... Only no space for the baby squirrel to peep in ...
The Verger
'Romance at short notice is her speciality' is how the short story 'Open Window' ends. This is by Saki (a.k.a ) H.H.Munro. I sometimes wonder whether this applies to all the writers too.
The idea of a story making a story at the last sentence has always appealed to my own romance. There are many such stories. What stands in my mind though are a few. Like, 'Open Window' , 'There are no snakes in Ireland' , 'The Verger' .....
Verger is the best of its class though. I am tempted to give a synopsis of the story.
" I can tell you that Sir , said Mr Foreman , a little smile on his still aristrocratic features. ' I would be verger of St Peter's, Neville Square. "
This is how the story ends. Now to the synopsis.
Mr Foreman is a verger in St Peter's church. The authorities suddenly spring up a rule that all Vergers should be literates. Foreman is not though. But the church is pretty keen. It is clear that, he either becomes a literate in 3 months or he leaves.
Time comes and Foreman hasnt even made an attempt and on the day of reckoning, he has no choice but to leave. With a heavy heart he quits the place he has worked for 12 years. Crestfallen , he decides that he has no future thereon.
He walks down the street and looks for a cigarette for comfort. And he doesnt find a single shop. It strikes him as a flash that he has a window open afterall and decides to set up a shop there.
Soon this shop grows into a chain and in 10 years, Foreman becomes a rich guy. His Bank Manager seeing so much funds in his account, suggests that Foreman should invest in some securities for better returns. After much persuasion , Foreman agrees and asks the manager to prepare the papers. The manager obliges and brings it for Foreman to sign them , which Foreman has learnt in these 10 years. He insists that the manager reads that out for him to know what's written.
The manager is surprised and asks Foreman why he should. He replies that he doesnt know how to read or write.
The manager then asks, ' And you mean to say that you've built this important business and amassed a fortune of thirty thousand pounds without being able to read or write ? Good God, man what would you be now if you had been able to? '
Now, go back and read the beginning and read the answer. :))
" I can tell you that Sir , said Mr Foreman , a little smile on his still aristrocratic features. ' I would be verger of St Peter's, Neville Square. "
And this story is by Somerset Maugham , one of my all time favorites.
The idea of a story making a story at the last sentence has always appealed to my own romance. There are many such stories. What stands in my mind though are a few. Like, 'Open Window' , 'There are no snakes in Ireland' , 'The Verger' .....
Verger is the best of its class though. I am tempted to give a synopsis of the story.
" I can tell you that Sir , said Mr Foreman , a little smile on his still aristrocratic features. ' I would be verger of St Peter's, Neville Square. "
This is how the story ends. Now to the synopsis.
Mr Foreman is a verger in St Peter's church. The authorities suddenly spring up a rule that all Vergers should be literates. Foreman is not though. But the church is pretty keen. It is clear that, he either becomes a literate in 3 months or he leaves.
Time comes and Foreman hasnt even made an attempt and on the day of reckoning, he has no choice but to leave. With a heavy heart he quits the place he has worked for 12 years. Crestfallen , he decides that he has no future thereon.
He walks down the street and looks for a cigarette for comfort. And he doesnt find a single shop. It strikes him as a flash that he has a window open afterall and decides to set up a shop there.
Soon this shop grows into a chain and in 10 years, Foreman becomes a rich guy. His Bank Manager seeing so much funds in his account, suggests that Foreman should invest in some securities for better returns. After much persuasion , Foreman agrees and asks the manager to prepare the papers. The manager obliges and brings it for Foreman to sign them , which Foreman has learnt in these 10 years. He insists that the manager reads that out for him to know what's written.
The manager is surprised and asks Foreman why he should. He replies that he doesnt know how to read or write.
The manager then asks, ' And you mean to say that you've built this important business and amassed a fortune of thirty thousand pounds without being able to read or write ? Good God, man what would you be now if you had been able to? '
Now, go back and read the beginning and read the answer. :))
" I can tell you that Sir , said Mr Foreman , a little smile on his still aristrocratic features. ' I would be verger of St Peter's, Neville Square. "
And this story is by Somerset Maugham , one of my all time favorites.
Her
This was written by me on 08th May 1989. I was 24 , guess good enough to fall in love and write stuff like this. Looks very amateurish now, but I dont have the heart to infuse my intelligence and vocabulary on this now. That wld be unfair. Really, really unfair.
Young age and the ignorance has its own charm and I dont feel one bit ashamed about chasing the butterflies or the ice cream vendor. About this ofcourse I am more than proud.
HER
Hardly ever I've felt like this
This extra phenyl ethyl amine
Someone kisses me in the earlobes I feel
Sending shock waves all through
The most serious offence in my dictionary
Gets a pardon as a verdict
And wasting a minute without thinking about her
Makes the newer offence
Thousand stars smile at me
For only celestial bodies are not envious about me
Relativity is understood now
Walking with her for a while
Is magnified a million times, and
Talks with my boss sounds poetic
Yet God, please freeze them all
Freeze time too
Let relativity be reality
I am looking at the mirror at midnight
Is that what is falling in love
A poetic term for getting schizophrenic
But no one told me that
It will be so pleasant
Will there really be that HER in my life ?
Young age and the ignorance has its own charm and I dont feel one bit ashamed about chasing the butterflies or the ice cream vendor. About this ofcourse I am more than proud.
HER
Hardly ever I've felt like this
This extra phenyl ethyl amine
Someone kisses me in the earlobes I feel
Sending shock waves all through
The most serious offence in my dictionary
Gets a pardon as a verdict
And wasting a minute without thinking about her
Makes the newer offence
Thousand stars smile at me
For only celestial bodies are not envious about me
Relativity is understood now
Walking with her for a while
Is magnified a million times, and
Talks with my boss sounds poetic
Yet God, please freeze them all
Freeze time too
Let relativity be reality
I am looking at the mirror at midnight
Is that what is falling in love
A poetic term for getting schizophrenic
But no one told me that
It will be so pleasant
Will there really be that HER in my life ?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
